The Perfect Vagina Media

I need to start a collection of all the insanely weird things that victimize people. See this example, for instance:

Women have been manipulated by the media to believe in a mythical “perfect vagina.”

I’m not only a woman but also not a very young one, yet in all the long years of my protracted existence I have not been able to locate any medium where “perfect vaginas” are mentioned even accidentally, let alone to the extent where I’d feel manipulated by the “perfect vagina” discourse. Is there a radio station, a TV channel, a website where show hosts and commentators go “Perfect vaginas! Perfect vaginas! Have you gotten your already? Get three for the price of one now!”

The funniest thing is that just this morning I read 2 posts in a row that discussed how menstruation was supposedly a huge taboo in American society and how it is never mentioned not only on TV but also among close friends. Now I’m discovering that there are actually different media that do nothing but talk about vaginas. These messages only appear contradictory. In reality, they are driven by the same conviction that women are always passive victims of everything, including their vaginas.

33 thoughts on “The Perfect Vagina Media

  1. I think what explains both the ‘period is taboo’ and the ‘everyone expects my vagina to be perfect’ is that many people feel the need to project their own insecurities onto absolutely everyone.

    If I feel like my vagina is ugly, so must everyone else! I’m uncomfortable talking about my period, then you must be too!

    To be fair, a lot of people get surgeries to alter the appearance of their vaginas, and the procedure is ubiquitous among famous porn stars. But nose jobs are ubiquitous among movie stars, I guess ‘society’ is pressuring us to have perfect noses too :p

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    1. “I think what explains both the ‘period is taboo’ and the ‘everyone expects my vagina to be perfect’ is that many people feel the need to project their own insecurities onto absolutely everyone.”

      – EXACTLY.

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  2. “To be fair, a lot of people get surgeries to alter the appearance of their vaginas …”

    Is this true? Is “a lot” really the right quantifier to be used here? I find it hard to believe that there really are hordes of women lining up to get labiaplasty and the like. I had always thought (and kinda hoped) that there is only a tiny minority of people going through surgery.

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    1. After giving birth to my sister (It was a vaginal birth and she had tearing from pushing too early because the doctor wasn’t really paying full attention to her needs) my mother was offered a consultation for labioplasty. I hope that that was just the case of the doctor being a negligent, insensitive jerk, and not signs of any trends towards OBGYNs recommending labioplasty after birth.

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      1. Is that really so terrible? If I had tearing/disfigurement, I would want it to be repaired as well.
        Do you have a problem with a doctor who offers to consult a patient who’s had a double mastectomy for breast implants?

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        1. Considering that this doctor had been steadfastly rude to my mother, that the only reason she had vaginal tearing was related to the fact that he had told her to push too early, and the creepy way he worded it (“These days they can make you as tight as a teenager!” )
          If my mother had asked him what her options were to deal with the tear, that might be different. But laying exhausted in bed after a difficult delivery with her new daughter and having him harass her like that? That’s not cool. No wonder she switched doctors after.

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      2. My OBGYN recommends Botox (irrespective of whether you have given birth), so nothing surprises me any longer.

        The Botox is supposed to go into a patient’s face, in case anybody is wondering.

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  3. Menstruation appears on television in veiled terms. Usually in empowering tampon commercials where women play tennis and surf.

    I’m not sure what ‘perfect vagina’ means… One thing I read about that relates to a concept of a ‘perfect vagina’ was ‘hymen restoration surgeries’ undertaken by some women who want to make sure they appear super-virginal on their wedding nights, sometimes under rather dire circumstances where to not bleed sufficiently means terrible reprisals, other times of their own choice. (Many people don’t seem to realize that someone can be born without a hymen or have it wear away naturally.)

    Also the whole unhealthy habit of douching, which I think (or hope) is done less frequently these days. Did you know that decades ago Lysol used to be advertised as a means of keeping the vagina clean? And as a form of birth control before the pill. Ouch.

    So I guess while I haven’t heard the term ‘perfect vagina’ before, I’ve come across plenty of warped ideas about women’s bodies. But that’s never made me second guess my vagina, only other people’s rationality.

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    1. “Many people don’t seem to realize that someone can be born without a hymen or have it wear away naturally.”

      – I heard that only 15% of women experience any bleeding when they have sex for the first time. I have only met one such woman in my entire life.

      “Also the whole unhealthy habit of douching, which I think (or hope) is done less frequently these days. ”

      – Completely unhealthy! There is absolutely no medical or hygienic need to stick any cleaning solutions in there, as the vagina cleans itself naturally. There are still people who routinely stick soup up their vaginas and then wonder why they suffer from yeast infections, and other such things.

      “Did you know that decades ago Lysol used to be advertised as a means of keeping the vagina clean? And as a form of birth control before the pill.”

      – Jesus Christ.

      “So I guess while I haven’t heard the term ‘perfect vagina’ before, I’ve come across plenty of warped ideas about women’s bodies. But that’s never made me second guess my vagina, only other people’s rationality.”

      – My mother thinks I have gestational diabetes now because I used to take oral contraceptives. The ones that I’m obviously not taking now. I haven’t been able to understand her reasoning or explain that it makes no sense. 🙂 So yes, rationality is hard to find.

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      1. “There are still people who routinely stick soup up their vaginas and then wonder why they suffer from yeast infections, and other such things.”

        Soup? Why?

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  4. The only time I remember there being a reference to the desire for a “perfect” vagina, it wasn’t coming from a woman. I was reading this embarassingly awful book about teaching autistic teenagers about sex/sexuality.
    One of the real-life examples used was a young man with Asperger Syndrome, called “Frederick” in the book, who had never had a girlfriend until his late twenties, and so relied on pornographic magazines (I have no idea how old the book was, but I’m guessing it was pre-internet in that case!) for sexual fulfillment. Then, Frederick got a girlfriend, and, the first time he saw her undressed, he reacted with extreme shock and disappointment that his girlfriend didn’t look like the girls in his magazines when naked.
    The author used the story as an example of the naivete of autistic people and the importance of not letting them have access to “materials which promote unrealistic expectations”. Personally, I think Frederick was just a jerk.

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  5. It is true that there are cosmetic plastic surgery procedures for modifying the vulva. Why would any healthy woman would put up with surgery? This has got to be a coastal phenomenon, mostly southern California, where hotel tourism brochures list pages and pages of plastic surgeons. I don’t know if the women getting cosmetic plastic surgery on the vulva are trying for pron stardom, but I do think that some guys want women to look like pron stars. Deal-breaker, guys!

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    1. I can’t imagine wanting to be around a guy who suggested I modify my appearance in any way. Let alone with surgery. Let alone with genital surgery. So yes, definitely a deal-breaker.

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  6. I too have seen no media discussing the “perfect vagina”, but I have seen an enormous number of advertisements directed at males, claiming to be able to enlarge their penises. By implication, therefore, there are a lot of vaginas out there that are too large for the average penis, and so the corollary of penis enlargement is vagina shrinkage to achieve the perfect fit.

    I also heard a story, many years ago, from a doctor, who claimed to have seen an advertisement in the USA urging women to have a Caesarian section “to keep your vagina honeymoon fresh”.

    So the notion of the “perfect vagina” seems to be male driven, by males who have a feeling of inadequacy about their penises.

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    1. “I have seen an enormous number of advertisements directed at males, claiming to be able to enlarge their penises”

      Oh the oppression! When is someone going to stand up for the downtrodden victims of perfect-penis-culture?

      “seems to be male driven, by males who have a feeling of inadequacy about their penises”

      I’d say it’s 50/50 between that and between insecure and narcissistic women who obsess about their looks and sexuality because they don’t have much else to offer….

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      1. insecure and narcissistic women who obsess about their looks and sexuality

        So they worry about males looking up their vaginas and not liking what they see there?

        The mind boggles.

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  7. I heard a young man talking how after birth a vagina becomes too wide, so a woman should agree to other kind of sex aferwards (according to him).

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    1. I know somebody who had a c-section because of this motivation. It took her about 20 minutes to explain the concept to me because I had no idea what she was on about. 🙂

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      1. I guess that you’re bound now to explain it to the rest of the readers!. I have no idea what she and you are talking about!.

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  8. ” There are still people who routinely stick soup up their vaginas”

    I was going to say congratulations for inventing a new ProΝ format but then I realized that soup in vagina PrоΝ probably already exists, I’m far too much of a coward to actually check out this hypothesis…..

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