An Alternative to Privilege Discourse

Reader Shakti asks an important question about an alternative to the privilege discourse:

Interesting comments: but what words and what framing would you use?

Merely saying, “I get better treatment, in big and small ways, because of who I am” riles. Having somebody say to you, “You get better treatment, in big and small ways, because of who you are” riles. (I’m oversimplifying, obviously).

I believe that the moment we allow the conversation to enter the realm of personal and subjective experiences of who gets treated better or worse, we lose an opportunity for activism. Instead of uniting around our shared rejection of racism (sexism, xenophobia, etc.), we isolate ourselves in the lonely recounting of how we experience our individual identity labels.

I have witnessed a multitude of privilege discussions, and they always end up alienating and antagonizing good, progressive people who could be working together to promote change. Here, for instance, is an example of the privilege discourse needlessly souring the relationship between friends and allies.

Instead of trying to decide whose experiences are more painful – which is a losing proposition anyway – it would make more sense to acknowledge that all of these experiences come from the same unacceptable reality we need to change. And we will only manage to change it if we work together.

23 thoughts on “An Alternative to Privilege Discourse

  1. Privilege discourse is born out of bad communication, especially bad listening skills. People have typically asserted that my background is very privileged, without taking the time to talk to me. They simply know what they know because they “know” it. it gets tiresome, all this unschooled “knowing”.

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    1. Once again, this is the need to put people into boxes and attach labels. The transformative potential of this exercise is nil. It antagonizes people and everybody ends up feeling bad. So what’s the point?

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      1. as I have said elsewhere, many times before, one can alleviate one’s sense of historical guilt by projecting it into other people, whom one deems to be more evil than oneself.

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      2. Once again, this is the need to put people into boxes and attach labels.(Clarissa)

        Wow, coming from a person who steadfastly calls herself a feminist this is priceless. 🙂

        as I have said elsewhere, many times before, one can alleviate one’s sense of historical guilt by projecting it into other people, whom one deems to be more evil than oneself.(Muster)

        I get it……….patriarchy, patriarchy, patriarchy!!!!

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  2. If I say the sun sets in the evening, how does that alleviate my guilt? Or is someone says I have sore arms from working hard all day, does that alleviate their historical guilt? What if I said I could see further than the nose in front of my face? Would that make me less guilty, in my own eyes?

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  3. musteryou:
    “as I have said elsewhere, many times before, one can alleviate one’s sense of historical guilt by projecting it into other people, whom one deems to be more evil than oneself.”
    Don’t forget about absolving one’s responsibility as well. Projecting onto others allows one to say, “It’s not my responsibility.”

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  4. Clarissa

    Quebecois would be considered an ethnicity. As an anglo Quebecor would I be considered a Quebecois?

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  5. But I think that “competitive misery” misses the point.

    Originally this discussion of “privilege” was just a strategy for pointing out to those who do not realize it that there is still gender/race/class oppression, etc., in US.
    A way of pointing out that there are people who, because of who they are, do not get to do things you may take for granted, such as walk through a department store without being tagged by security.

    It’s all been dwelled upon a bit too much and has gotten a bit overwrought, and I must be very unusual because I do *not* feel guilty not to be poor and so on, and realizing that I am not or recognizing that I have had better luck than many does not make me feel guilty either.

    And note: guilt is not a very good motivator … responsibility and interest are better ones.

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    1. “And note: guilt is not a very good motivator … responsibility and interest are better ones.”

      – Only for people who are 100% healthy. For many, guilt is the only motivator even for basic things like getting out of bed in the morning.

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  6. Here is a question: Does the amount of privilege you have never change and always remain the same? I always thought that privilege reflects your situation now (e.g. how wealthy you are, how thin, how beautiful, etc. pp.) and not the way you grew up. So is it impossible to traverse between different “privilege classes”?

    Because otherwise I cannot fathom how 4 people with PHDs and an academic career can sit round a table, play privilege poker and whine about how horribly horribly underprivileged they are.

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    1. “Because otherwise I cannot fathom how 4 people with PHDs and an academic career can sit round a table, play privilege poker and whine about how horribly horribly underprivileged they are.”

      – The author of the linked post is a very kind and understanding person. If anybody even as much as tried engaging me in this sort of conversation, I would have been neither kind nor understanding. I’ve had such good schooling in the area of guilt-tripping that there are very very few people who can beat me at it. 🙂

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  7. Pretty much, when you are like me, people treat you pretty decently every day. Mid to upper-middle class, white American guy, middle-aged, not gay or disabled; tenured, good looking and not overweight. In restaurants and stores, at my place of work, people tend to treat me well. White people, black people, Latinos and Asians are all nice to me. Also, I had no disadvantages growing up.

    So I think when people use the term privilege about people like me, it is that some people have to think about negotiating every day life in a way I don’t have to. The racist or homophobic boss, the store clerk who is hostile to a teenager, etc…

    I don’t feel guilt, because my guilt doesn’t help any one else particularly. Being “accused” of being privileged makes no sense either.

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    1. Brilliant essay!

      “In particular, indigenous peoples and people of color become the occasion by which the white subject can self-reflect on her/his privilege. If this person self-reflects effectively, s/he may be bestowed the title “ally” and build a career of her/his self-reflection. As many on the blogosphere have been commenting recently (see for instance @prisonculture and @ChiefElk), an entire ally industrial complex has developed around the professional confession of privilege”

      – Exactly.

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      1. I showed this essay to my dear friend and roommate, and he said, regarding those workshops where the confessional model of privilege-scratching prevails: “The way it turns into confessional? I feel Foucault sitting on my shoulder, saying ‘nope, not escaping the trap of modernity this way, are you?'” 🙂

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    2. I read this article and it starts well, but then, I don’t know…. I wonder why it is so difficult for people to treat others simply as human beings? There are so many white liberals who proclaim good intentions, but they don’t mix with others. Actually, if you offer to let them in to a non-white community, they are not pleased to get involved. They constantly berate people like me for all sorts of imagined infractions, but these liberals just aren’t sociable.

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  8. …this constant assumption that one is completely unconscious and unaware and must be brought to … well, Jesus, I almost said, which indicates it must be some tradition coming from church.

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