Equal Opportunity

So the campus art museum has been closed, right? But not to worry, there is good news. We just hired a “Director for Equal Opportunity and Access.” I’m guessing he will occupy himself with ensuring that we all have an equal opportunity to have no access to a museum and that we all get equal access to the junk food store. Yay! A huge win for the institution of higher learning.

Note how there is always enough money to hire these useless hacks but never any money for actual education. In the meanwhile, we will have a meeting on Friday to discuss which of our fellow teachers and researchers we are willing to fire to make sure that more Assistant Vice Chancellors for Brainless Butt-Scratching are hired asap.