I’m so upset right now, people, that I need to vent here on the blog because I’m not very fit to talk live to human beings at this moment. I have a lot to do today and it’s a very tough day as it is, so I need to get over this soon.
Today is the 9-month anniversary of my C-section, so I’m already just hanging in there, kind of. And then I just had to find out that an acquaintance has been using what happened to me, my tragedy, for manipulative purposes. It tuns out that this creature was so traumatized by what I had do undergo that this is somehow an excuse for her treating people in a shitty way. It is not a nice feeling to find out that I’m being trotted out, without even being informed about it, to justify stinky behavior on somebody’s part.
I’ve been making enormous efforts not to turn my tragedy into everybody else’s. I have been completely professional at work and never shirked my duties even minimally, although if everybody ever had an excuse to do so, that would be me. I have not forced anybody to become a hostage of my emotional states, I have not treated anybody shabbily because I’m sad, I’m dealing with everything with the help of people who have offered help. And now this sorry excuse for a human being is using the death of my child as a self-serving mechanism.
And if this at least were a relative or a close friend who does have a genuine emotional response to the situation, I could understand that. This person, however, is a very distant acquaintance with whom I have maybe talked a dozen times in my entire life. And by the way, right after it happened, she behaved in a very poor way towards me, too.
It’s OK, I will deal with it, just like I’ve always dealt with everything else. But God, how I hate these spoiled divas who need to exploit the problems of others because they’ve never had any of their own.
Clarissa's Blog 
Terrible. I can’t stand people like that. They are like tragedy vampires. I’m so sorry. And I commend you for handling your sadness with dignity and grace.
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Thank you. I’ll get over it. It’s just that it’s always something unexpected that comes up and disorients me.
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Hope you will feel better soon and don’t have to see her anymore. Some people are best ignored.
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It’s a very small town, unfortunately. But yes, I’m buring all this here on the blog and not bringing it up with anybody. I don’t want to star in yet another local vendetta.
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Some people suck so bad. I’m really sorry to hear about this.
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Thank you! It’s Ok, I feel better already.
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Hang in there, Kid.
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Thank you, my friend.
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Ugh I am so sorry that you are dealing with that, Clarissa. Emotional/Psychic vampires are the worst.
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Vampires is precisely the word. Leeches.
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That’s not a fair comparison. Leeches and vampires do what they gotta do to survive. They’re not predating on you to make themselves feel special.
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I don’t know if this applies, but every time I see this pattern, it reminds me of Eric Berne’s game “Why Don’t You — Yes, But …”, but from the perspective of the person being used to perpetuate the game among others.
My preferred method for ending “Why Don’t You — Yes, But …” games is to deny the people creating them any additional information or standing that would allow the game to be perpetuated. It sends the right message to all involved — not only there will be no further games (especially the dangerous “Let’s Play a Fast One on Joey”), but also there will be the appropriate message that everyone who played a part in the games is somehow viewed (accurately, as I see it) as at least slightly tainted.
The “chattering classes” will chatter — there’s plenty of tabloid news for them to engage in their favourite game to play, “Ain’t It Awful”, without involving you in the slightest …
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so sorry, Clarissa
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