People who don’t love themselves are eager to hand over their unwanted, disliked self to others. They call this transfer “self-sacrifice” and expect others to provide the self with the care they can’t give to it themselves. When others fail (as they can’t help doing) at this task, self-sacrificers direct towards them the rage they feel against themselves and their own basic incapacity to treat themselves well.
So true, very well said.
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Wilhelm Reich thought so too. Although of course there is a danger in describing something as always having only one meaning or explanation, because that is another way to lose our selves by losing our appreciation for complexity.
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I’m convinced that the moment somebody says, “I made sacrifices for you,” it’s time to run away. Or one will end up with complex psychological issues.
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I, for one, hear a song like this and think “That’s my relationship with my parents!” (especially this lyric):
I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?
:p
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Yeah, that it totally so. If someone wants to turn their sacrifice into a debt collection device, you are in grave trouble.
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Agreed. I’ve only ever heard that phrase used manipulatively.
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