I keep getting questions about psychoanalysis and I’m very glad to see an interest in the topic in a culture where pill – taking and misery as a way of life have been deified. Remember that I’m answering these questions strictly in a capacity of a highly educated recipient of the service but not a provider of any related services.
Here are some of the questions I hear a lot:
1. “I already know that I’m lazy / a liar / immature / irresponsible / dependent / have low self – esteem / [insert any self – disparaging term you can think of]. So why do I need an analyst to tell me all this?”
Answer: the possibility that an analyst will tell you any of this (or much of anything, to be honest) is pretty much the same as that of your dentist starting to weep, tear out his hair and yell, “How could you betray me like this and destroy my faith in humanity, you evildoer?” after seeing a cavity in one of your teeth.
The room where your analysis is conducted is a space of complete and unquestionable acceptance of you. Your truth is the only one that exists. The analyst starts from the conviction that you are a good person. And that conviction never goes away. The point of analysis is not to judge you but to make the voices in your head that tell you how immature / lazy / irresponsible, etc you are to go away. The analyst resides in a world where you are not stupid, lazy and irresponsible but in the world where you are trying to shed this dangerous and wrong mythology about yourself.
An analyst knows that there is nothing more destructive than guilt and will never foster it in you.
Clarissa's Blog 
I have a question about psychoanalysis as well: Is the psychoanalytical knowledge shared on this site universal (as in applies to all human beings) or is it culturally specific in some way?
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Great question, thank you! The process of analysis itself is very culture specific, especially if your analyst is a Jungian. The analyst will be reading a lot on your culture, the history of the region you are from, the folklore of your region. The analyst does this on her own time, of course. You don’t have to pay for that.
But the information I’m sharing on the blog is very general and not culture – specific at all. If an analyst becomes judgmental there are two possibilities: you are imagining it and need to share it with the analyst immediately. Or – and that’s highly unlikely – you aren’t working with an analyst.
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I wonder what sort of reading an analyst would have to do to discover that I was suffering from intergenerational war trauma, passed down through my father’s side of the family, or to really understand the closed system of culture I came from (the media blackout preventing any negative reporting of our war efforts, which all suddenly fell through with a matter of weeks when it was announced that we had suddenly lost the war we may have thought we were winning). And then there was the fact that adults did not speak to children, who were brought up at arms length, so I could not have known any of this unless I pieced it together myself many years after it occurred. I would not have been able to give any indication of what was gnawing at me, because I simply did not know enough of my own history. And if I knew so little myself, an analyst from a different society and culture would certainly have to spend a few intensive years not only reading but putting together the parts of the jigsaw.
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Everybody has a complex baggage but this doesn’t mean people should stop solving their problems. I’m Ukrainian on one side and Jewish on the other, grew up in the USSR. I’m sure you can imagine the extent of the baggage I carry. This doesn’t mean I should resign myself to suffering from this baggage, does it?
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That wasn’t my point though. My point was that it would have been impossible for an analyst to find out the crux of the issue. Sure, people should work on their problems. My point is that I was the only possible analyst for myself.
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Nobody can be an analyst for themselves. One can be many things but not that. It’s easier to conduct open-heart surgery on one than that. 🙂
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well I am fucked.
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I’m sure you are perfectly fine.
However, there are so many people who really need help but they lull themselves into complacency with these myths of somehow figuring it out on their own.
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Maybe some people stay on the surface of things pretty much. That is not everybody. Some people are more desperate, like I was.
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In addtion, what really complicates the issue — which was a problem I had with every sort of counsellor type in modernity — is the cultural baggage of modernity. This lens narrows the frame of reference very much, so that it is assumed one says things or does things in order to big note oneself or compete against others, rather than to pursue a quest for knowledge. This obstructive notion about how reality works really gets in the way of finding out the truth about things. To be clear, this distortive lens caused me the greatest amount of difficulty in getting a clear vision of myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWSx7bDNz3k
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What is the difference between psychotherapist and psychoanalyst?
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Also an important question. We discussed it at length here because the difference is crucial: https://clarissasblog.com/2013/08/22/psych-what/
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Thanks, it was a really informative blog post. So the woman who stood up at the middle of the session to call her daughter to put the chicken into the oven so it would be ready by the time she would arrive at home, and who demanded me to stop feeling anger towards my abusive mother was a psychoTheRapist. I met her only once, I wasn’t really motivated to go back. Maybe I should read more about psychoanalysis, as I have quite similar problems like you. I guess it’s already not the Freudian type analysis, or is it?
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“So the woman who stood up at the middle of the session to call her daughter to put the chicken into the oven so it would be ready by the time she would arrive at home, and who demanded me to stop feeling anger towards my abusive mother was a psychoTheRapist.”
– You can call her that. Or you can call her a stupid quack. 🙂
“I guess it’s already not the Freudian type analysis, or is it?”
– My analyst is Jungian. But my husband’s is Freudian and the results are amazing. I feel like composing laudatory odes to that great analyst whom I’ve obviously never seen. 🙂
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An idiot abusing the authority invested in her, yes.
If there’s one piece of advice on choosing an analyst I can suggest it’s don’t oversweat the qualifications, website presentation etc, but pay attention to whether or not they’re happy people. Not chirpy or overagitated or euphoric, but more-or-less quietly happy. The analyst I’ve achieved the most progress with is one I picked almost on a whim, because someone on the Internet had described her as vital and happy in a very short review.Also, the complete and unconditional acceptance is essential, and orthogonal to challenging the shit out of you.
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I agree completely that qualifications are a lot less important than the degree of comfort you feel around this person. I looked at many analysts (online) but the moment I saw mine, I knew that it would work because he had the face of a person to whom I wouldn’t mind telling absolutely anything.
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@Stille: That’s a good advice, however in my case it works only after a personal meeting. This woman told me she used to beat her children, and she bullied her teen daughter in front of me (the patient on the first session), because she couldn’t get into medical school in that year. However on the internet she seemed to be a normal and kind person, she had a calm and friendly face, I chose her among many others after hesitating for weeks. A personal meeting like this can kill my motivation for a long time.
@Clarissa: I’m afraid I can’t read people’s face that well. I need to actually meet them so I can observe their behaviour, communication techniques, attitudes.
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I wonder if gaining insight is enough to move mountains. “The truth shall set you free”. Supposing I gained insight into how Bruce Lee folded his hand to make a punch, would that turn me into an excellent puncher?
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The insights one pursues in psychoanalysis are into oneself, not Bruce Lee. And the reason why the process is so expensive is to prevent people from wasting time on discussions of Bruce Lee during sessions.
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One would hope. But for many people the notion of :the Truth” is already a metaphysically loaded notion. It’s not only supposed to guarantee to “set one free” but to provide empowerment and riches and heaven as well. Oprah Winfrey set me free!
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