AT&T is conducting a very aggressive marketing campaign trying to get people to switch from Charter as their Internet provider.
This means that young people show up at my doorstep with a disturbing regularity and repeating the same marketing speech word-for-word. I already have been through the spiel 4 times and know it by heart.
Believe me, I have every shade of compassion for these young people who are trying to make ends meet in this crappy job. But I spend all day long at work repeating the same thing to another bunch of young people. Do you know how many times I said, “And don’t forget the a personal” today? Many! I can’t be doing the same shit at home. Also, it feels quite bizarre to repeat the exact same LONG exchange of statements 4 times in a row. The last two times I suggested we skip to the end of the conversation but the salespeople refused. Apparently, they are obligated to go through the entire LONG pitch.
It got to the point where I freaked out the mailman who was trying to deliver a package by blurting out, “I’m not switching to AT&T!” when he knocked on the door.
“Me neither,” the mailman deadpanned. “Can you sign for the package?”
Clarissa's Blog 
“So you’re telling me that if I sign up, I’ll have my Internet serviced by a large, mostly anonymous company with the Death Star for a corporate logo, where if I don’t behave myself Lord Vader will leave a garrison here? I’m sorry, but my family has been Rebel Scum since the Galactic Government went Full Empire, so if you and your stormtroopers would kindly fuck off — I do have to warn you, I have a Wookiee here and he’s really mean-tempered when he has to deal with the Empire …”
Don’t let them get a word in edgewise and they’ll never know what hit them. 🙂
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