The reason why I’m not going on the job market to find a better university is that a better university does not exist. People spend years pining for a place with more responsible students, more intellectual colleagues, better course assignments, more research-oriented environment, less obnoxious administrators, less ubiquitous and inept support staff, more attractive geography, better possibilities for a rich personal, social and intellectual life, etc. but that place doesn’t exist. That imaginary place is just an excuse to delay living until such time when it can be accessed. But that time will never come.
There is a single place where this Kingdom of God can be found on earth. That place is inside oneself. Displacing the causes of one’s unhappiness onto the external factors such as colleagues, students, administrators, etc, is convenient in the short-term but enormously defeating in the long term.
I’m not suggesting, of course, that people don’t look for new jobs. All I’m suggesting is that they don’t look to a job to give them what a job, any job, by definition cannot offer. When I first arrived at my current school, I met many people who had spent their lives absolutely convinced that if only life had offered them an opportunity to work at a more prestigious school, they would have published a lot more, learned a lot more, and been significantly happier. None of that is true, though. Wherever you go, there is one thing you can’t escape is yourself. On any campus on the planet, you will still be yourself. And the unhappiness you feel will travel everywhere by your side.
This is why I decided six years ago that I was going to have the time of my life at this school, that I was going to have the best students on the planet, the greatest colleagues anybody could imagine, and do really good, high-quality research. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing while many other people have spent this time sighing, “Oh, if only I were at Princeton. . . Then I would really do some research! Then I would really live the life of the intellect! But in this dinky little place, none of that is possible.” The dinky little place where none of that is possible is, of course, one’s own inner life.
Clarissa's Blog 
Thanks for saying this! This is just what I needed to hear (read) today.
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“Oh, if only I were at Princeton. . . Then I would really do some research! Then I would really live the life of the intellect! But in this dinky little place, none of that is possible.”
Boohoo, I’m among the luckiest 2% of humanity, but I can’t do anything until I will be among the 0.1%.
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Exactly! !
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How does this differ from your decision to emigrate, twice?
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I loved Canada. I still love it. But it’s not acceptable to have all your degrees from the same place, so I left. But I never had the feeling that life will only begin when I leave Canada.
I did have a feeling that real life will begin once I leave Yale. And when I finally left, thst’s when I discovered that Yale wasn’t the problem. I was. I w as projecting my inner misery onto the place. I’m not making that mistake again. 🙂
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“But I never had the feeling that life will only begin when I leave Canada.”
I had that feeling when I lived in the smalltown where I was born and grew up. And it was basically true, my “life” only began when I left. But it was an extremely chanceless place and my family was also quite abusive, as a teenager I didn’t have too many options to better my life there. Those from my age group who remained there either became alcoholics or are totally worn down and look 20 years older than their age, and most of them are permanently unemployed (the area has been in a constant economic crisis since the mid 90s).
The big psyhological step for me was my movement from the crappy smalltown to the capital in the same country, not immigration 14 years later. The latter was just a decision that had both positive and negative results, but I have never seen it as a catalyst that made me “live”. Teaching in a US university as an adult in a chosen field is a slightly different position than my situation was as a teenager, however if workplace abuse or mobbing occurs, it’s still better to leave. Being victimized by abuse or mobbing kills every motivation and endeavour, even in the luckiest place in the world. So I didn’t mock bullied people in my previous comment only annoying whiners who were never happy with their lives.
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“Teaching in a US university as an adult in a chosen field is a slightly different position than my situation was as a teenager, however if workplace abuse or mobbing occurs, it’s still better to leave. Being victimized by abuse or mobbing kills every motivation and endeavour, even in the luckiest place in the world. So I didn’t mock bullied people in my previous comment only annoying whiners who were never happy with their lives.”
– Of course! I’m totally not saying “stay put no matter what happens.” No, don’t stay put. To the contrary, move around, explore things. Moving around doesn’t have to be limited to geography. Trying out new things is good in every aspect of human endeavor. But if one is experiencing serious long-term unhappiness, it makes sense to look at internal factors, as well.
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” Of course! I’m totally not saying “stay put no matter what happens.””
Yes, I know, but after I read Z’s comment below I realized that my previous comment could have been read as if I mocked everyone who was not happy with his or her situation, even those in an abusive environment. That’s why I tried to refine my previous comment, as it was slightly misunderstandable.
“But if one is experiencing serious long-term unhappiness, it makes sense to look at internal factors, as well.”
Agreed. People tend to ignore internal factors in many cases. Engagement in self-pity and whining is counter-productive, so it’s always worth to look at the deeper reasons.
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Who is the 19C American author who says that when you travel you only bring yourself with you … oh yes, Emerson. Well, I like Melville, his contemporary who recommends travel as a tonic and more, and who in my view has a more complex and more interesting notion of the self.
I find place and situation matter. I am really bad at rising above abusive environments, for instance — they get to me. We have all perked up massively in my subunit this semester because our harrasser is on sick leave. We did not change — the environment gave us some relief. It is not the level of prestige of the school that lets you do more or less research, or whatever it is you want to do, although resources do matter. But peace of mind is more fundamental and this is not wholly self generated.
Life delayed. I guess I have had that feeling but not attached to places. It always was a version of: once I resolve these issues with my mother…once I can get her happy and settled (elementary school version)…once I am 18 (secondary school version)… and so on, even now to some extent. Once I can get myself free.
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I really like the point you are making, but I think as stated here it is a little simplistic. There are MANY places where one can thrive, not just the Ivies of this world, but for many people – I’d say all, but there are exceptions to everything! – there are real issues which make ‘being excellent where you are planted” tricky in every setting, which will genuinely make the amount of work you produce, and the joy with which you produce it, different – abusive colleagues, very poor physical facilities (e.g. teaching in a room where there is constant road noise and the radiator is stuck at ‘broil’ will NEVER be as excellent or as joyous as in the room on the other side of the building which is quiet, has natural light, fresh air and a thermostat), sheer workload.
You are right that someone who sits in the hot room and says ‘I can never ever teach well here’ and then spends the three hours they have between classes feeling hard done by because they are not at a fancy enough school will do much worse than the person who is able to put those feelings aside and think “how can I teach the best class possible in this space? Can we take a break, go for a walk, play relevant music to drown the noise, work in groups so no-one is straining to hear me, can I talk repeatedly and nicely to maintainance about the heating?” and then between the classes think “how wonderful, I have three hours to think” and let their intellectual self have free reign of its kingdom without hedging it in with fantasy and blame and worries about the heating. But even that person will do better if they are in an environment where they can make one call and get the room fixed, where they are not suffering sinus pain after working in the stuffy room, are not having to pour quite so much of their own energy into the class just to overcome the inertia of the space so they have more over for really exciting teaching…
THis is somewhat biased by my being physically and psychologically something of a ‘delicate flower’ (but aren’t we all? My body complains at me distractingly if it’s too hot, too cold, lacks fresh air, is bothered by loud noises – other people are distracted by maybe ongoing arguments with their partners or too much or too little sex or not having their caffeine levels perfectly balanced or whatever makes their system remind them they are physical creatures as well as brains on sticks)…
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Beautiful writing.
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Thank you. 🙂 If only I could transfer this skill to my academic writing.
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The reason I continue to be on the job market is that I don’t get to do what I’d like to do here — teach Shakespeare — unless I sneak it in to a Gen Ed class. I know that every school has problems, but if I could actually teach my specialization once a year, perhaps, then I might be able to deal with the BS a little better than I do now. Then again, I could just be suffering from the delusion of reprieve, which I recently wrote about on my blog. http://fieuponthisquietlife.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-delusion-of-reprieve.html
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That is such a great, great post. I highly recommend.
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It also occurs to me that many academics who complain about their universities are actually having difficulty with having moved. It is a big stressor and it is hard to do right. I did not move alone within the US before having moved to and within several foreign countries so I already had the custom of getting used to a new city … and I am from US, so I know things one can do in US when one is new. I have these advantages, and also the advantage of having interests outside the university, so I look for certain communities wherever I go (where do the ceramic artists rent studio space? etc.).
In FL departments, I have noticed, many people hang out exclusively with colleagues because of the language issue, not being comfortable in US or in English. If the department doesn’t offer that, or enough of it, they have a rough time. And even those from same country may not have an easy time moving, and it all comes out as “this place is horrible.” Finally, I’ve noticed that there is a lot of negative bonding, i.e. the idea that you will find friends more easily by sharing suffering than fun.
People were really miserable with having moved at my first job, except for me, because I had a network outside the university. Another place I worked, the department and university were so congenial you hardly had to make an effort. Here, one of my errors was not to invoke my usual outside-university networking skills in a systematic way from the get-go. This has contributed to the claustrophobia, yes.
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Ah yes, but weren’t you envying the position that Zizek has, where he can do “pure research” and write as he wishes?
Perhaps if the workplace you seek is within you, one day you’ll take it home and turn your study into your ideal place of “pure research”, writing as you wish …
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Next semester, I’m teaching 1 day a week. And then from May to January I don’t teach at all. So I can’t complain.
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Yes. So really, the reason not to go on the market is you just got tenure and a sabbatical and a great teaching schedule, and bought a house, and are married to someone who works in the area, and you always liked this place, and you are in a field and program unlikely to be eliminated even in the most doomsday style scenario. It is not just inner happiness, it is a preponderance of external and practical factors as well that say stay.
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I haven’t been given tenure yet but that thank you. 🙂 What really bothers me is that the Illinois Board of Higher Education tells us that going research robs students. And immediately, there is a statewide legislation making publishing a punishable offense. Yesterday we were told that we will be forced to sign the copyright of all our future work over to the state. You sign once but in perpetuity. And then you are left on your own to explain that the copyright to everything you produce – including in the distant future – doesn’t belong to us by default.
And this isn’t even what bothers me. What bothers me is that I’m the only person who is even aware of this. Everybody else is in some sort of a stupor.
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I think those BoHE initiatives cannot stand. I am betting Humanities gets an exception, and then the whole thing gets knocked down even before it gets to court. I would bet you the UI system is fighting it tooth and nail and that they will win. By the way I loved working there.
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If UI is fighting this – which I’d love to believe – where is evidence? Where is a single reference to this by anyone but me?
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You’d have to talk to them. Their Senate president, for instance. My point is: this kind of scheme comes up periodically and these apocalyptic announcements are made by some board executive who does not understand how things actually work. Then powerful faculty at a research heavy university get up in arms / refuse. There is always a lot of discussion of these kinds of things, perhaps not published and perhaps not broadly at your campus. But at places where people are publishing a lot and a lot of different things, and where a lot of dissertations are being produced, this is a hot issue every time it comes up.
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As I mentioned before, the IBHE announced that research steals time away from students. Now this measure crops up. This is a concerted effort to turn most public schools into online diploma mills. We are being told directly that a few elite schools will still be allowed to do research and serve the very rich. Yip dee do. How does this help anybody else?
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Right, I know they say that, but what I am saying is I do not believe it will be allowed to stick in the way they imagine. If I am wrong and they really mean it then you really should go on the market. But I do not think it will stick, I just think you will get an online diploma mill added to what exists.
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