Women in Tech

I keep hearing that things are bad for women in tech, but how can they improve if this kind of idiocy keeps happening (emphasis is mine):

The Ipsos Girls’ Lounge is . . . creating a safe haven for women at tech, media and advertising conferences, including SXSW. The group believes it can foster networking and deals between women and help empower them through pro-female programming facilitated by manicures, makeup and a bit of bubbly. . .

“Guys do deals,” Ipsos Girls’ Lounge CEO Shelley Zalis said. “Girls create relationships. I think there’s confidence in the pack. We’re creating an environment where women feel comfortable, where real conversations happen and you have time to spend together.”

Every single word of this is offensive in the extreme. I would not be caught dead at any event where it is acceptable to insult me with the condescending “girls create relationships” and “let me empower you with a manicure.” It’s 2015, how is this shit still possible?

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34 responses to “Women in Tech”

Stille (@aperfectbalance)

March 17, 2015

Wow this is utter bullshit. Safe haven for women through foot reflexology is not a concept I ever thought I’d see. I can see why the person who came up with this idea was constantly intimidated at tech conferences, and I suspect it had little to do with sexism in the tech world.

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Pen

March 17, 2015

A safe haven that makes me even more uncomfortable is not a safe haven. You want to facilitate pro-female programming? Invite women to your programs and actively discourage sexist positions and statements that crop up in your programs.

There’s a yearly women in physics conference. I didn’t go, but last year my friend said that the most-emphasized topic was being able to balance motherhood and a career. I was disappointed to hear that — I was under the impression that we would attend these events to meet other female physics majors and physicists and discuss research and stuff like at any other conference. And that’s ignoring the fact that the conference is primarily aimed at the undergraduate, who is very likely not thinking about kids.

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Clarissa

March 17, 2015
“I didn’t go, but last year my friend said that the most-emphasized topic was being able to balance motherhood and a career. I was disappointed to hear that — I was under the impression that we would attend these events to meet other female physics majors and physicists and discuss research and stuff like at any other conference. ”
- Urgh. I had a similar experience when I attended a “Preparing for Tenure” workshop at a feminist conference and all that was discussed was how some people are too shy to ask to see their operational papers. I feel for their plight but does every discussion have to be hijacked by this infantility? We had very interesting, high-profile speakers at the workshop but they barely got to speak about anything other than these really childish concerns.
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1. Pen
  
  March 17, 2015
  
  “I feel for their plight but does every discussion have to be hijacked by this infantility?”
  
  -Agreed! There are undergrad programs with only one or two female students. They need support from their peers and experience in presenting research, not an infantilizing diatribe.
  
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cliff arroyo

March 17, 2015

“Invite women to your programs and actively discourage sexist positions and statements that crop up in your programs.”

Better yet, invite women to your programs and teach them how to play the game, which means, along with other skills, learning how to deal with people saying nasty things to and about you.

Developing a very thick skin (or very thick filters) is essential in getting ahead in almost any field.

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1. Clarissa
  
  March 17, 2015
  “learning how to deal with people saying nasty things to and about you”
  
  This entails learning to look at yourself with your own eyes and not through somebody else’s distorted and exhaustingly critical vision. And this is something nobody can do for you. It’s very personal, individual, hard work. When I was 20, I would be so terrified of people staring at me, criticizing me, and being mean to me that I would not be able to leave the house for days. And when I tell this to people who know me today, they think I’m making this up. But between then and now, there was A LOT of really hard work.
  
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  1. cliff arroyo
    
    March 17, 2015
    
    Of course no one can do it for you. It’s like teaching. The teacher can’t learn the material for the students but can help (or hurt) the process along.
    
    Mentoring can work in a similar way, helping the person realize what they need to do.
    
    At any rate, controlling who can say what around who is the exact opposite and will only create hothouse flowers who wilt when they come into contact with fresh air.
    
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    1. Pen
      
      March 17, 2015
      
      “At any rate, controlling who can say what around who is the exact opposite and will only create hothouse flowers who wilt when they come into contact with fresh air.”
      
      -I’m not advocating control or censorship of speech. Unproductive or offensive speech (in this case, explicitly sexist remarks) should be punished socially. Simply ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away in the long-term. It’s not just conferences, it’s the workplace, too — I’d much rather lambast a guy for implying that the fact that he has a penis means he’s smarter than me rather than ignore it. At least then I’m not just sitting still. A thick skin is important. So is standing up for yourself.
      
      “Mentoring can work in a similar way, helping the person realize what they need to do.”
      
      -Agreed.
      
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      1. Clarissa
        
        March 17, 2015
        
        “I’d much rather lambast a guy for implying that the fact that he has a penis means he’s smarter than me rather than ignore it.”
        
        Hear, hear!!! It is also a very enjoyable pursuit. 🙂
        
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      2. cliff arroyo
        
        March 17, 2015
        
        “I’d much rather lambast a guy for implying that the fact that he has a penis means he’s smarter than me rather than ignore it. At least then I’m not just sitting still. A thick skin is important. So is standing up for yourself.”
        
        Oh, absolutely, but it has to be the person who’s offended who does the standing up, not some pseudo-parent authority figure.
        
        On the other hand, knowing which battles are worth fighting is a part of it. A person who makes a big deal about every supposed belittling remark is giving a huge amount of information on just exactly how to derail them.
        
        And…. it doesn’t hurt to know how to go on the offensive pro-actively once in a while.
        
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Vic Crain

March 17, 2015

Remember, SXSW is located in Austin, Texas. Jimmy Kimble ran a segment last night featuring the owner of a VHS tape store in Austin. Progressive? Let’s party like its 1835!

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Clarissa

March 17, 2015

A VHS tape store! How cute is that! 🙂 🙂

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1. David P. Bellamy
  
  March 17, 2015
  
  I really miss the Beta video store that I used to frequent.
  
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leahladygrey

March 17, 2015

Women in tech are some of the toughest ladies I’ve ever met. My good friend is a local computer programmer who doubles as a volunteer for many feminist orgs, and she regularly takes down male colleagues at conferences who assume that she’s there for PR and doesn’t know anything about the technology she’s promoting. Tech Industry doesn’t need to mollycoddle women in tech, so much as it needs to question why there are so many men in tech who are boneheads that can’t handle sharing a workspace with smart, competent women who know their shit.

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Shakti

March 17, 2015

I’m sure it fails in execution.

I like manicures (not really) and blowouts (a lot) as much as the next girly girl but this comes across as the “Chick Break Room.” This does nothing for the rest of the conference which they claim is so stressful for women. Besides if I walk in that room and they have no idea what to with my hair (likely black women) or no proper foundation shades (any non white woman) doesn’t that make those people feel excluded? And how in the world can they offer foot massages and not hand massages to people who type and text all damn day? Carpal tunnel is hellacious. :p

A code of conduct that’s backed up by major attendees where they make it clear what behavior is acceptable and isn’t would do way more to relax attendees and facilitate networking.

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Clarissa

March 17, 2015
“And how in the world can they offer foot massages and not hand massages to people who type and text all damn day? Carpal tunnel is hellacious.”
- Good point. I have no idea why they concentrated on feet and not hands or shoulders either. It’s like the whole point of this event is simply to deliver the “girls are into relationships” speech and everything else is just an afterthought. You are right, hair care and facial care delivered en masse are just a total waste of time.
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Stille (@aperfectbalance)

March 17, 2015

One way of saying that someone did a piss-poor job of something in Romanian can be translated mot a mot as “they did it with their feet”. I suppose the organizer’s poor feet are very tired.

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1. Clarissa
  
  March 17, 2015
  “One way of saying that someone did a piss-poor job of something in Romanian can be translated mot a mot as “they did it with their feet”. I suppose the organizer’s poor feet are very tired.”
  
  Brilliant!
  
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cliff arroyo

March 17, 2015

“A code of conduct that’s backed up by major attendees where they make it clear what behavior is acceptable and isn’t would do way more to relax attendees and facilitate networking.”

Learning some basic verbal self-defense (which is not about being nastier than anyone else in the room) is a lot more productive. And it’s a skill that comes in handy in lots of different contexts (when there’s no authority figure to make the rules).

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1. Clarissa
  
  March 17, 2015
  
  All I know is that there is a lot of discussion of the horrible problems that women face in tech industries, yet no specific information as to what the horrors consist of. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t put people’s suffering in doubt. If they say they suffer and it’s horrible, then they are right. But I can’t speak to the issue with any sort of legitimacy or conviction if I have no idea what specifically is being discussed.
  
  All I can say is that I cannot imagine any problem in any industry being successfully addressed with “girls make relationships while getting foot massages.”
  
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2. Shakti
  
  March 17, 2015
  
  Learning some basic verbal self-defense (which is not about being nastier than anyone else in the room) is a lot more productive. And it’s a skill that comes in handy in lots of different contexts (when there’s no authority figure to make the rules).
  Of course a code of conduct that’s enforced doesn’t replace basic verbal self defense. If you don’t have that no code is going to help you. I don’t think though, “verbal self defense” by itself works for incidents like
  this, which isn’t just “some meanie called me [].” At least I think these are the kinds of incidents they’re they’re alluding to with “safe haven.” Otherwise it’s downright bizarre.
  
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  1. Clarissa
    
    March 17, 2015
    
    Didn’t I post something brilliant about Adria Richards a while ago? The name sounds familiar.
    
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    1. cliff arroyo
      
      March 18, 2015
      
      About two years ago, a quick summary
      
      off-color joke
      photo
      tweet
      article
      fired
      fired
      crazy death threats
      down the memory hole
      
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      1. Clarissa
        
        March 18, 2015
        
        I found my posts! They still sound very convincing to me. 🙂
        
        Fired for Jokes and for Reporting Jokes
        
        Workers’ Rights Lose Out to Gender Wars
        
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March 17, 2015

The thing here is that you are an alpha female so you don’t need “an environment where women feel comfortable.”

Have you read Mathbabe on being an alpha female?

On being an alpha female

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Thoreau

March 17, 2015

As patronizing as this crap is, it appeals to certain happy-shiny progressive types, and also to fragile types, and once it is offered up as being Part Of The Solution To Sexism there are a lot of decent people who won’t argue with it publicly (I say from behind a pseudonym).

We could fix a lot more problems if well-meaning people didn’t have to pay lip service to so much crap in order to protect their reputations. And if the purveyors of the crap weren’t able to sway so many people into thinking that the purveyors of touchy-feely crap are the people with the right answers.

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Clarissa

March 18, 2015
“We could fix a lot more problems if well-meaning people didn’t have to pay lip service to so much crap in order to protect their reputations. And if the purveyors of the crap weren’t able to sway so many people into thinking that the purveyors of touchy-feely crap are the people with the right answers.”
- Hear, hear!
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Sister

March 17, 2015

There were other things on the agenda too; confidence coaching, astrology readings for example. And, ironically, a discussion on gender stereotyping.

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Thoreau

March 17, 2015

Astrology? Seriously?

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1. Shakti
  
  March 17, 2015
  
  Yes: They had astrology Took a picture too.
  
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Shakti

March 17, 2015

You are literally not snarking for any of that.

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Clarissa

March 18, 2015
“There were other things on the agenda too; confidence coaching, astrology readings for example. And, ironically, a discussion on gender stereotyping.”
- THis is the best. 🙂
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Jones

March 18, 2015

YOU CAN DRINK BUBBLY ON THE JOB?

OMG OMG OMG 🙂

Seriously though, I’m unsurprised at how jejune concepts are being put forth as a “real revolution” …

[hides the whisky bottle and pretends that all is proper in Secret Squirrel Land]

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Evelina Anville

March 18, 2015

At first I was irritated by this but then I realized the “conference” is SXSW. So it’s not really a professional conference in any strict way. 3/4s of that event is pure entertainment: movies, live music, drinking, parties. So having a pedicure/astrology room in some ways doesn’t seem out of place. It is cast/explained in a troubling way (“‘girls’ make relationships” was particularly cringe worthy) but the existence of a pedicure/spa space seems to fit with the general feel of SXSW.

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