I keep hearing that things are bad for women in tech, but how can they improve if this kind of idiocy keeps happening (emphasis is mine):
The Ipsos Girls’ Lounge is . . . creating a safe haven for women at tech, media and advertising conferences, including SXSW. The group believes it can foster networking and deals between women and help empower them through pro-female programming facilitated by manicures, makeup and a bit of bubbly. . .
“Guys do deals,” Ipsos Girls’ Lounge CEO Shelley Zalis said. “Girls create relationships. I think there’s confidence in the pack. We’re creating an environment where women feel comfortable, where real conversations happen and you have time to spend together.”
Every single word of this is offensive in the extreme. I would not be caught dead at any event where it is acceptable to insult me with the condescending “girls create relationships” and “let me empower you with a manicure.” It’s 2015, how is this shit still possible?
Clarissa's Blog 
Wow this is utter bullshit. Safe haven for women through foot reflexology is not a concept I ever thought I’d see. I can see why the person who came up with this idea was constantly intimidated at tech conferences, and I suspect it had little to do with sexism in the tech world.
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A safe haven that makes me even more uncomfortable is not a safe haven. You want to facilitate pro-female programming? Invite women to your programs and actively discourage sexist positions and statements that crop up in your programs.
There’s a yearly women in physics conference. I didn’t go, but last year my friend said that the most-emphasized topic was being able to balance motherhood and a career. I was disappointed to hear that — I was under the impression that we would attend these events to meet other female physics majors and physicists and discuss research and stuff like at any other conference. And that’s ignoring the fact that the conference is primarily aimed at the undergraduate, who is very likely not thinking about kids.
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“I didn’t go, but last year my friend said that the most-emphasized topic was being able to balance motherhood and a career. I was disappointed to hear that — I was under the impression that we would attend these events to meet other female physics majors and physicists and discuss research and stuff like at any other conference. ”
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“I feel for their plight but does every discussion have to be hijacked by this infantility?”
-Agreed! There are undergrad programs with only one or two female students. They need support from their peers and experience in presenting research, not an infantilizing diatribe.
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“Invite women to your programs and actively discourage sexist positions and statements that crop up in your programs.”
Better yet, invite women to your programs and teach them how to play the game, which means, along with other skills, learning how to deal with people saying nasty things to and about you.
Developing a very thick skin (or very thick filters) is essential in getting ahead in almost any field.
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“learning how to deal with people saying nasty things to and about you”
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Of course no one can do it for you. It’s like teaching. The teacher can’t learn the material for the students but can help (or hurt) the process along.
Mentoring can work in a similar way, helping the person realize what they need to do.
At any rate, controlling who can say what around who is the exact opposite and will only create hothouse flowers who wilt when they come into contact with fresh air.
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“At any rate, controlling who can say what around who is the exact opposite and will only create hothouse flowers who wilt when they come into contact with fresh air.”
-I’m not advocating control or censorship of speech. Unproductive or offensive speech (in this case, explicitly sexist remarks) should be punished socially. Simply ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away in the long-term. It’s not just conferences, it’s the workplace, too — I’d much rather lambast a guy for implying that the fact that he has a penis means he’s smarter than me rather than ignore it. At least then I’m not just sitting still. A thick skin is important. So is standing up for yourself.
“Mentoring can work in a similar way, helping the person realize what they need to do.”
-Agreed.
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“I’d much rather lambast a guy for implying that the fact that he has a penis means he’s smarter than me rather than ignore it.”
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“I’d much rather lambast a guy for implying that the fact that he has a penis means he’s smarter than me rather than ignore it. At least then I’m not just sitting still. A thick skin is important. So is standing up for yourself.”
Oh, absolutely, but it has to be the person who’s offended who does the standing up, not some pseudo-parent authority figure.
On the other hand, knowing which battles are worth fighting is a part of it. A person who makes a big deal about every supposed belittling remark is giving a huge amount of information on just exactly how to derail them.
And…. it doesn’t hurt to know how to go on the offensive pro-actively once in a while.
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Remember, SXSW is located in Austin, Texas. Jimmy Kimble ran a segment last night featuring the owner of a VHS tape store in Austin. Progressive? Let’s party like its 1835!
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A VHS tape store! How cute is that! 🙂 🙂
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I really miss the Beta video store that I used to frequent.
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Women in tech are some of the toughest ladies I’ve ever met. My good friend is a local computer programmer who doubles as a volunteer for many feminist orgs, and she regularly takes down male colleagues at conferences who assume that she’s there for PR and doesn’t know anything about the technology she’s promoting. Tech Industry doesn’t need to mollycoddle women in tech, so much as it needs to question why there are so many men in tech who are boneheads that can’t handle sharing a workspace with smart, competent women who know their shit.
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I’m sure it fails in execution.
I like manicures (not really) and blowouts (a lot) as much as the next girly girl but this comes across as the “Chick Break Room.” This does nothing for the rest of the conference which they claim is so stressful for women. Besides if I walk in that room and they have no idea what to with my hair (likely black women) or no proper foundation shades (any non white woman) doesn’t that make those people feel excluded? And how in the world can they offer foot massages and not hand massages to people who type and text all damn day? Carpal tunnel is hellacious. :p
A code of conduct that’s backed up by major attendees where they make it clear what behavior is acceptable and isn’t would do way more to relax attendees and facilitate networking.
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“And how in the world can they offer foot massages and not hand massages to people who type and text all damn day? Carpal tunnel is hellacious.”
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One way of saying that someone did a piss-poor job of something in Romanian can be translated mot a mot as “they did it with their feet”. I suppose the organizer’s poor feet are very tired.
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“One way of saying that someone did a piss-poor job of something in Romanian can be translated mot a mot as “they did it with their feet”. I suppose the organizer’s poor feet are very tired.”
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“A code of conduct that’s backed up by major attendees where they make it clear what behavior is acceptable and isn’t would do way more to relax attendees and facilitate networking.”
Learning some basic verbal self-defense (which is not about being nastier than anyone else in the room) is a lot more productive. And it’s a skill that comes in handy in lots of different contexts (when there’s no authority figure to make the rules).
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All I know is that there is a lot of discussion of the horrible problems that women face in tech industries, yet no specific information as to what the horrors consist of. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t put people’s suffering in doubt. If they say they suffer and it’s horrible, then they are right. But I can’t speak to the issue with any sort of legitimacy or conviction if I have no idea what specifically is being discussed.
All I can say is that I cannot imagine any problem in any industry being successfully addressed with “girls make relationships while getting foot massages.”
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Learning some basic verbal self-defense (which is not about being nastier than anyone else in the room) is a lot more productive. And it’s a skill that comes in handy in lots of different contexts (when there’s no authority figure to make the rules).
Of course a code of conduct that’s enforced doesn’t replace basic verbal self defense. If you don’t have that no code is going to help you. I don’t think though, “verbal self defense” by itself works for incidents like
this, which isn’t just “some meanie called me [].” At least I think these are the kinds of incidents they’re they’re alluding to with “safe haven.” Otherwise it’s downright bizarre.
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Didn’t I post something brilliant about Adria Richards a while ago? The name sounds familiar.
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About two years ago, a quick summary
off-color joke
photo
tweet
article
fired
fired
crazy death threats
down the memory hole
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I found my posts! They still sound very convincing to me. 🙂
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The thing here is that you are an alpha female so you don’t need “an environment where women feel comfortable.”
Have you read Mathbabe on being an alpha female?
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As patronizing as this crap is, it appeals to certain happy-shiny progressive types, and also to fragile types, and once it is offered up as being Part Of The Solution To Sexism there are a lot of decent people who won’t argue with it publicly (I say from behind a pseudonym).
We could fix a lot more problems if well-meaning people didn’t have to pay lip service to so much crap in order to protect their reputations. And if the purveyors of the crap weren’t able to sway so many people into thinking that the purveyors of touchy-feely crap are the people with the right answers.
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“We could fix a lot more problems if well-meaning people didn’t have to pay lip service to so much crap in order to protect their reputations. And if the purveyors of the crap weren’t able to sway so many people into thinking that the purveyors of touchy-feely crap are the people with the right answers.”
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There were other things on the agenda too; confidence coaching, astrology readings for example. And, ironically, a discussion on gender stereotyping.
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Astrology? Seriously?
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Yes: They had astrology Took a picture too.
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You are literally not snarking for any of that.
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“There were other things on the agenda too; confidence coaching, astrology readings for example. And, ironically, a discussion on gender stereotyping.”
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YOU CAN DRINK BUBBLY ON THE JOB?
OMG OMG OMG 🙂
Seriously though, I’m unsurprised at how jejune concepts are being put forth as a “real revolution” …
[hides the whisky bottle and pretends that all is proper in Secret Squirrel Land]
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At first I was irritated by this but then I realized the “conference” is SXSW. So it’s not really a professional conference in any strict way. 3/4s of that event is pure entertainment: movies, live music, drinking, parties. So having a pedicure/astrology room in some ways doesn’t seem out of place. It is cast/explained in a troubling way (“‘girls’ make relationships” was particularly cringe worthy) but the existence of a pedicure/spa space seems to fit with the general feel of SXSW.
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