On Dr. Phil I saw this sixtyish, paunchy, balding, mumbly, piss – poor fellow with a record and a history of being a victim of scams who’s absolutely convinced that a beautiful, busty, 20 – year-old multimillionaire is passionately in love with him.
You’ll say Dr Phil chooses pathological people for the show on purpose but I met crowds of such guys in my life. They exist, and they are extremely numerous. This is the male quality I despise and detest: a profound conviction that no matter how ugly, insignificant, unsuccessful and pathetic he is, every beautiful, brilliant and successful woman on the planet will perceive his interest in her as the greatest gift from God. They go through life, accumulating rejections, lonely and unwanted, yet this conviction is unbroken.
Yes, not all men. But so many. So scarily many. And the more patriarchal their country of origin, the more likely they are to be this way. Western European men under the age of 50 are rarely this way. Latin American men – very often, with few exceptions that I’ve seen. Eastern European – very often. Middle Eastern – pretty much always. Of course, educated, well-read, naturally brainy men from any culture manage to avoid this mindset but they are not in the majority on this planet.
This sense of entitlement does not stem from men’s high self-esteem. When I see a piece of sausage I crave (which is, of course, every piece of sausage in the world), it does not occur to me to wonder if the sausage wants to be eaten by me or if it has a better candidate in mind. The possibility that the sausage can want to have any input on its fate is ludicrous because I don’t perceive the sausage as a sentient being. Even the most insecure person on the planet doesn’t wonder about sausage ‘ s feelings and expectations.
That’s how it is with these men. The idea that women are sentient beings with desires and preferences never visits them. And rejections don’t hurt. If an iPad or a GPS refuses to function properly, I can feel angry but not rejected, humiliated or hurt (unless I have very specific psychological problems that are not under discussion here.)
Obviously, these men have zero chance of establishing satisfying connections with women. They end up having to buy, force, and bully women into being around them. They have to sublimate their need for emotional connections into homosocial pursuits, aggression, violence, etc.
Clarissa's Blog 
Of course, there are also men who cannot imagine a woman being interested in, nor attracted to, them no matter what. I would not be surprised if these are even more numerous.
LikeLike
Low self-esteem is treatable plus it only causes damage to these men. It doesn’t really bother anybody else. Neither do they get into ISIS- type gangs.
LikeLike
Hear, hear! I love this. Especially the sausage analogy. Great post, Clarissa!
LikeLike
Thank you! I wasted so much of my life beating off these idiots who thought I was a piece of sausage. . .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very accurate. When I was younger and partying/clubbing, I was always fascinated that all the men — no matter how ugly, smelly, or otherwise unattractive they were — would fixate on the hottest girl around. I remember thinking “Do these people not have mirrors? Do they not see she is so far out of their league that she might be from another planet?” But you are right, it’s this weird sense of entitlement, of not viewing women as fully human.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And what I hated the most is how they never hear a “no” and keep whining and begging. SO annoying.
LikeLike
Have you read any books by Elena Gorokhova? A “Mountain of Crumbs”, a memoir of life in Russia or “Russian Tattoo”, a book about her journey from Russia to America in 1980.
LikeLike
No, this is not my genre at all.
LikeLike
a profound conviction that no matter how ugly, insignificant, unsuccessful and pathetic he is, every beautiful, brilliant and successful woman on the planet will perceive his interest in her as the greatest gift from God. They go through life, accumulating rejections, lonely and unwanted, yet this conviction is unbroken.
This sounds like sitcom stars and rom com heroes.
Of course, educated, well-read, naturally brainy men from any culture manage to avoid this mindset but they are not in the majority on this planet. This sense of entitlement does not stem from men’s high self-esteem.
I don’t think education cures this mindset necessarily. Men can be extremely well educated, well read and brainy and fail to internalize that women are sentient beings with preferences of their own. Those men just come up with more pseudo science, sophistry and rationalizations to express this point of view. I know well educated men who have this attitude that any interest from them is a gift from god.
LikeLike
On Dr. Phil I saw this sixtyish, paunchy, balding, mumbly, piss – poor fellow with a record and a history of being a victim of scams…
Oh! For a moment I thought you were talking about Dr. Phil. The last time I watched his show he had a psychic on as a guest.
LikeLike
This is a brilliant comment. 🙂 🙂
LikeLike