Let’s Watch the Democratic Debate!

~ Clarissa

First of all, who are these identical and identically unfamiliar men surrounding Hillary and Bernie? They look like bodyguards.

7:50 – what a mistake to let these boring men nobody knows drone on about their boring lives. Nobody cares! Let’s move on now to somebody who is actually relevant.

7:53 – what is this, the fucking Oscars? Do we need to get the list of everybody’s relatives?

7:55 – I had no idea Bernie had such a strong Jewish accent. That is very endearing. He looks young, vigorous, and strong. Go, Bernie! The crowd goes nuts for Bernie.

7:57 – Hillary looks radiant but what’s this shit about finding a factory worker in her genealogy to trot out?

Bernie sounds a lot angrier than Hillary. I love that but will the voters?

8:00 – Hillary makes sure to hit every constituency. Calculating, as always. I love that.

8:03 – ah, enough with the question about “socialism.” Who cares about the label? I don’t like Anderson Cooper in this debate. Sandinistas? Really? Bernie is talking about paid maternity leave. Excuse me for caring more about that than about the Sandinistas.

8:15 – Hillary delivers the first personal jab to Bernie. Bernie, in response, suggests that Hillary is shrill. We all know that he’s old-school with women.

8:23 – Bernie is ready to implement the post-nation state foreign policy. Interesting!

8:25 – Hillary’s response on her Iraq vote is the bomb. Fantastic job, Hillary!

8:34 – as I said before, Bernie’s understanding of Russia is non-existent. Just like everyone else’s. But he doesn’t manage to conceal his confusion. That’s not good.

8:49 – Bernie rules with “the people are fed up with the emails!”

Bernie and Hillary shake hands and the audience goes nuts with joy. That’s the best moment of the debate.

8:50 – wow, Hillary is GOOD. The second part of the debate rocks.

8:51 – questions about race just have to be handed to a black reporter? Jeez. What a way to tokenize a fellow.

8:56 – finally, somebody brings up the recession and points out who was to blame.

9:12 – and a guy called Carlos gets to ask the question about Hispanic immigrants? That’s just ridiculous. And offensive. Boo, CNN!

9:17 – Webb repeats THE SAME boring story about his wife? Is he not fully sober? He keeps bitching about not getting enough time to speak but when he is given an opportunity, he recites the same old boring and irrelevant story.

9:23 – Hillary stands strong on that dirty weasel Snowden. Yay to her! Bernie actually agrees Snowden is a criminal and needs to pay. Big win for reason.

9:26 – “Secretary Clinton, how will you be different from Obama?” Hillary: “Vagina, vagina, vagina!”

9:36 – Bernie just made the same argument as Trump, verbatim. That was not a good idea.

9:39 – Bernie is losing wind, unfortunately. Now he brings up Pope Francis and repeats the gaffe of the decade about “working with Russia on climate change.”

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Published by Clarissa

61 thoughts on “Let’s Watch the Democratic Debate!”

    1. ‘My name is Martin O’Malley. You may know me as the real life inspiration for Tommy Carcetti in the Wire. This is my only claim to fame.’

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    1. Yeah. He’s just not good with women. The part about not separating mother and baby was good but even there he lost his train of thought for a second, like he grew bored with it.

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  14. “…what’s this shit about finding a factory worker in her genealogy to trot out?”

    Hillary also has Jewish ancestors. Why doesn’t she mention them?

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  15. Body language:
    Sanders: irritated and needs a nap when others speak.
    Clinton: good.
    Webb: Stiff necked and dour.
    O’Malley: Discount Bill Clinton. Apologetic.
    Chafee: Smiling non entity.

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  16. This is more of panel discussion than a debate.

    Sanders: I was against Gramm Leach Bliley.
    Clinton: I’m tougher than Sanders.
    Chafee is absolutely shut out.

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  17. Webb: soldiers nurses and soldiers oh my!
    Chafee: Gramm Leach Bliley would have passed anyways. My dad just died.
    Sanders: College is the new high school.

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      1. Yes. He is the only one I actually like on Education. He actually says that he wants to keep the Common Core (or something like it) but get rid of the testing. It’s my sentiments exactly.

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  19. Chafee is getting slammed whenever he gets a chance to speak.
    – Chafee: There was overwhelming support.
    Clinton: I don’t regret my vote!
    Sanders: I was the one vote against the Patriot Act!!!

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    1. “Pope Francis believes in climate change!”

      Which idiot brought that up!? (I’m watching a “Law & Order” episode right now, not the dumb debate.)

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