Klara is so smart, folks, it’s unbelievable. Today she wasn’t in the mood for the bottle, so she hit it with her fist, crawled across my chest until she arrived in the vicinity of the nipple, and started licking my blouse over it. She’s good at these complex, multi-phased operations that require planning.
The really unexpected thing is that I already had to retire a portion of Klara’s wardrobe. She grew out of some of her outfits and is now too long for them. (I can’t say she’s too tall, can I?) I somehow didn’t expect such rapid growth.
In this entire time, N and I only bought 2 outfits for the baby. There simply has been no need because she has an enormous wardrobe as it is. First of all, Klara has an older cousin Klubnikis, a very fashionable young lady who sent all her baby clothes our way. Then, all of our friends are ecstatic about the opportunity to buy baby clothes. Everybody loves buying baby clothes, and we can’t begrudge people this joy.
I’m discovering that this baby is saving us a tidy sum of money because I’m housebound and can’t go to the stores. And if I don’t shop, money doesn’t get spent. Neither do I go out to eat or visit the bookstore or the salon. I swear to God, I had no idea I was a big spender until I got locked up at home and did the accounts.
Also, I’m discovering that either I’m very lousy at baby care or infants take up a lot of time. I feel like I don’t manage to do anything at all even though I barely ever rest during the day. Is this really supposed to be so time consuming or am I doing something wrong?
Clarissa's Blog 
Kids are extremely time consuming. Infants at least sleep a lot (except at night!), so you get an occasional break, but yeah, having children means that your life is no longer your own. That’s not a bad thing. It just means you have to organize your time in different ways. Believe me — nothing helped me become efficient like having a baby. I really needed to use my time more wisely, so I had to change how I did things. It was a good thing, though. I wrote a dissertation and a novel when my eldest was an infant, so it’s certainly possible to get shit done. I get more done now that I have kids and prioritize getting things done so I can spend more time with them. Although, recently (as my last post would show), it’s been hard to do anything because work has been crazy, and the usually very domestic hubby has been too busy himself to do anything like cook, clean, or do laundry. So we’re unusually swamped, but that’s just us.
When kids get in daycare, it’s way easier to get stuff done. When they’re school aged, life is amazingly simpler. They have friends and interests outside the mommy at that point, so it feels lots less emotionally stressful because you don’t always have to be the center of each other’s attention.
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. It just means you have to organize your time in different ways…. nothing helped me become efficient like having a baby.
Seconding Fie’s point.
Parents become very efficient workers, as there’s no time to fart around any more.
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You aren’t doing anything wrong. Baby care is all-consuming. It’s not intellectually stimulating, but there’s a lot to do all the time, and if you are alone with her and breastfeeding, it’s completely understandable that you are occupied 24/7. Later, when she has fewer but longer naps, you will be able to get a few things done while she sleeps, but then she’ll also get mobile and require more energy to keep up with when awake. Don’t expect to do to much work while taking care of her; I have been in that situation with all three kids, and trying to get work done while taking care of a small baby leads to a lot of stress and generally eats away at the already minimal sleep. If you could find someone to take care of Klara for a few hours per day, or a few days of the week, you could get things done (or just take a nap). This is my long-winded way of saying — you are doing great, no worries!
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It’s very reassuring to know that this is normal and I’m not some sort of a freak who does everything very slowly.
I’m lucky that I don’t have to do any work for the entire 6 months of the maternity leave. It’s just as well because I feel intellectually depleted.
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Nothing wrong at all, you’ll slowly discover what you need to do when she naps and what you can get away with while she’s awake – some babies are fascinated watching certain chores, especially if they feel part of the action e.g. getting a handful of soapy bubbles to study if you’re washing dishes.
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Just chiming in to agree with everyone — yes, babies (and slightly older children) are indeed this time consuming.
When she’s about seven, you’ll start getting (some of) your life back. Or at least, that was my experience!
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All of the above! You are doing the right things in the normal way, you just have a smart baby. Baby care is definitely all consuming. My experience is that smart babies are always alert and just don’t seem to need as much sleep as less clever babies. They seem to know there’s so much to learn, sleep wastes time, i.e. sleep wastes their time, not yours! If you feel too zombified from interrupted sleep, forget any surrounding untidiness and nap when Klara naps.
One other thing I learned when caring for babies, forget the ironing! Nobody else will notice if the baby’s clothes aren’t ironed, only if they aren’t clean. And does any parent have time to iron bed sheets?
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Twenty years ago, I made a pledge to myself that I would never iron anything ever again in my life. And I fulfilled the pledge! Haven’t held an iron in my hands since then. Highly recommended!
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Excellent to find you in complete agreement about ironing, the most pointless activity. I’m quite sure it was invented centuries ago, by the upper classes solely to keep the servants busy!
My son, when he was around 13 years, commented than his school shirts were creased. I dug the ironing board out of the garage, took the unused iron from the box it had been given to me in and showed him how to iron his shirt. The novelty lasted about a week…
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“I had no idea I was a big spender until I got locked up at home and did the accounts …”
Says the person who I suggested should avoid Carnaby Street in London and who should visit the Wellcome Trust Library, wherein she could have found an entire library collection for “The Institute of Sexology”, making her visit to the Freud Museum even more complete …
So where did this person wind up?
🙂
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Shopping on Oxford Street. But that was a complete accident!
No, not really. 🙂
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No, not really at all. 🙂
But this is what you could have had behind door number three:
http://wellcomecollection.org/exhibitions/institute-sexology
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