I have finally found a way to buy good cards for N. I always wondered how come his cards to me are always so much more tasteful and appropriate than mine to him. But it’s only now that I realized that the only way to go is to buy his cards in the “Her Birthday” and “Her Everything Else” section.
The “For Him” section in our region only presupposes the existence of two types of men:
- A profoundly religious, sensitive, gentle man who likes pastel colors and long missives where God is mentioned in every line.
- A non-religious fellow who loves garish, vulgar colors and lives for fart jokes and toilet humor.
The existence of sensitive, gentle agnostics who don’t get toilet humor has not yet been acknowledged by the greeting card industry.
Clarissa's Blog 
I’ve been buying cards from Papyrus (Target carries them). Artfully done, they don’t fit either of the categories you mention.
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I buy a lot of Papyrus cards. They’re not heavily religious or into toilet humor but they’re still pretty obviously gendered (aside from the pronouns).
I’m sure there are niche cards you can buy online for anyone who doesn’t have a wine sipping girlfriend out of a Cathy cartoon, a mechanically inclined father who plays sports, or a sentimental flowery mother, who all make jokes about being old or becoming old.
American gender roles are something else.
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The getting old jokes all begin at 40 and are so tortured that I’m overwhelmed with vicarious shame.
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I thought it was 30 for women. I remember sitcom jokes about being 29.5 for 8 years.
Don’t worry Clarissa, I will have a mid life crisis that is spectacular to balance everyone who is well balanced. IME, it’s less about personal freaking out than other people freaking out about your age or trying to stick you into some box. I will remember to avoid the “OMG you are so old” cards for my cousin, who is the happiest and calmest he’s been in a long time.
Maybe the whole “midlife crisis” explains Rubio and Cruz’s public personae? They’re not comfortable with their ages.
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Choosing the right card for the one you love is particularly difficult, I agree. I always wonder why there have to be cards especially for men, or for women? All recipients are individual people.
I haven’t bought things specifically labelled ‘Birthday cards’ for years. Most of those on offer are crass and unlovely, at least here in the UK they are! I buy beautiful, unlabelled cards from art shops, craft stalls and when I’m on holiday, and write a personal greeting inside. Often I’ve the recipient in mind, but not always and I’ve been known to hoard cards for several years.
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It sounds like a brilliant idea to get a stock of cards from art stores or traveling to keep on hand. I don’t know why I never thought of it.
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I always buy aesthetically appealing blank cards and then write whatever I want inside. 🙂
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I have found nice cards at the Post Office. They do not fall into either of these categories. I have no idea whom the USPS buys them from, but I often like them a lot.
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