Parents of infants often use first person plural to talk about their babies. It’s not a big deal, although they might end up sounding confusing (“Our tummy hurts”) or kind of creepy (“We pooped twice today!”). Problem is, some people can’t stop doing it long after it’s even marginally OK.
“We are taking two AP courses this year because we want to start filling out our college applications early.”
Or even, “We just started going out with our first boyfriend!” And it takes everything I’ve got not to respond, “Lady, your first boyfriend happened before the Vietnam War. Stop creeping me out.”
Reality follows words, and the temptation to be an active presence in our college applications or our relationship with the boyfriend will be very hard to vanquish. And “our poop” will gradually transform into a younger person’s pooped up life of which she or he doesn’t feel fully in control.
Clarissa's Blog 
I always found the talk of “our poop” a little creepy, even from parents of infants. Even when my daughter was tiny, I always thought of her as a separate person — actually, even when I was pregnant!
But perhaps I lack the so-called “maternal instinct”.
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No, I think everything is great with your instincts. The earlier you position the child as a separate human being, the easier it will be to avoid “our college applications” later on.
Right now, for instance, I finished making soup and wanted to play with Klara. But she was busy with her baby gym and clearly didn’t want to be interrupted. So I left her in peace because once you get in a rut of overriding their needs with your own, it’s not easy to get out of it.
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Agreed that it’s deeply creepy and unsettling when done very consistently even with babies, but as a very occasional thing it doesn’t bother me even into the teens.
Especially it sounds okay (used a couple of times in a long conversation) when catching up a friend on family news after a long period of non-contact. But more than that, yeah break out the scouring pad and steel wool… brrr
Also creepy, the new trend of counting childrens age in months after they’re a year old “My baby is 26 months old” yechhhh!
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“Also creepy, the new trend of counting childrens age in months after they’re a year old “My baby is 26 months old” yechhhh!”
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That’s an old trend. I hated it as a small child. Teachers don’t do it, only parents do, and it was one of the many reasons I preferred teachers to parents.
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Or even, “We just started going out with our first boyfriend!” And it takes everything I’ve got not to respond, “Lady, your first boyfriend happened before the Vietnam War. Stop creeping me out.”
blink I often hear “It’s not the couple getting married, it’s the families getting married.” Also I’ve received lengthy lectures from my mother about how I’m responsible for my brother’s hypothetical marriage by my relationship with my imaginary sister-in-law and how I should check up on my brother’s dating life. I refuse to do this. I also hear about Punnett squares a lot.
The “our boyfriend” nonsense might be the parent vicariously trying to capture the experience of a first romance again.
Also creepy, the new trend of counting childrens age in months after they’re a year old “My baby is 26 months old” yechhhh!
It’s not new. I think it has to do with developmental milestones. Newborns can’t do a lot of the things 6 month year olds can do. The difference between a 1 year old and two year old is significant, but there is no practical difference between a 21 and 22 year old.
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I think the month thing is related to phases of development — as the baby books put it, By thirteen months, babies are usually able to… By thirty months, most babies have a vocabulary of X number of words…
If you are caught up in your kid reaching and passing those mile markers, you tend to think in months through the toddler years. Because they really do change a lot month to month.
I used to know the time ranges of the bigger milestones but have forgotten everything except that babies should be pointing at objects to share interest no later than 18 months.
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Shakti is a faster typist than I am.
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Why do doctors also say we in this way?
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Yes, doctors, too! I always hated that.
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Doctors talk like that??
I don’t remember ever saying to a patient, “Aren’t we crazy?”
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Hilarious.: -) I think we might be a bit schizophreni, but that’s OK, it gives us charm. . .👿
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Oh dear. I find it patronising and demeaning. Yet I’ve started doing it myself now I work with people with dementia. I make remarks like; “Shall we go up to the dining room for a nice cup of tea?”
I don’t even drink tea myself.
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