So guess who volunteered to give a talk about multicultural workplaces for our Leadership Institute? What wouldn’t one do to fulfill the obnoxious service requirement.
I plan to teach the attendees the following:
- Not to inform every foreigner that they have an accent unless they are 100% sure said foreigner is truly unaware of this fact.
- Not to inform every foreigner that “I know a guy whose ex-girlfriend once went on a date with a guy who knew somebody who once roomed with a guy from your country.” There is absolutely nothing whatsoever that one can say in response that doesn’t make one feel dumb.
- Not to organize unsolicited sociability opportunities for people from the same part of the world. I had an unpleasant moment a couple of weeks ago when somebody triumphantly introduced me to a person they brought over specifically for my benefit. “Here is Clarissa! She is from Russia, just like you!” To which I was forced to respond, “I’m from Ukraine,” causing intense discomfort for me and for the Russian person who had no interest in meeting me.
- Not to list every stereotype you associate with the person’s country of origin. I have heard, “Ah, vodka!” so many times in response to “I’m from Ukraine” that I started wondering if “Vodka” was my last name.
- Inagine that instead of being from Ukraine, Nigeria, Sweden, Pakistan or Guatemala, your interlocutor is from Wood River, Illinois (a neighboring town). This will help you stop being fake around them and help you relax and be normal. Which is the only thing everybody wants.
Of course, I also have suggestions for foreigners. I’ll put them in the next post to avoid making this one too long.
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\What wouldn’t one do to fulfill the obnoxious service requirement.
I thought you would be happy to talk about the issue in order to educate people on a thing of importance you experienced yourself.
Otherwise, somebody w/o experience could have repeated unhelpful platitudes. May be, some immigrants will get more positive experience thanks to you.
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I can turn anything into a fun experience but I hate being distracted from my personal life and my research. It would make a lot more sense to let me do the research quota of people who are not into research and let them do my service quota instead.
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“Not to inform every foreigner that “I know a guy whose ex-girlfriend once went on a date with a guy who knew somebody who once roomed with a guy from your country.” There is absolutely nothing whatsoever that one can say in response that doesn’t make one feel dumb.”
I mostly agree, but while it’s easy to assume people only do this with foreigners it’s exactly how Americans treat each other too. “Oh you’re from Wood River? The brother-in-law of a friend I had in college almost accepted a job offer there!” (followed by strained awkward silence). I’ve had lots of people say similar inane things to me and I’ve made my share of pained strained friend-of-a-friend conversation starters myself.
I agree it’s a dumb thing to do, but “don’t do that!” should be broadened to “Ever!”
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“I agree it’s a dumb thing to do, but “don’t do that!” should be broadened to “Ever!””
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Yes. It’s a common but weird reflex, that effort to find common ground when there isn’t any. My younger teen had the following conversation with a well-meaning person.
Well-meaning person: So, what are you doing this summer?
My kid: going to [name of summer camp] for a month. It’s a Jewish sleepaway camp.
Well meaning person: Oh! [pause] I saw “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”…
Yeah. Don’t do that. Ever.
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“My kid: going to [name of summer camp] for a month. It’s a Jewish sleepaway camp.
Well meaning person: Oh! [pause] I saw “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”…”
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Well-meaning person: So, what are you doing this summer?
My kid: going to [name of summer camp] for a month. It’s a Jewish sleepaway camp.
Well meaning person: Oh! [pause] I saw “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”…
Yeah. Don’t do that. Ever.
Now I know where Amazon gets its suggestion algorithm from. “I’m going to have a camping trip in the woods for my birthday!” “I saw the Donner Party!”
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Also, I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced it, but it might be worth mentioning: you don’t need to speak louder or extremely slowly to a person just because they have an accent. And if the person really doesn’t speak or understand much English, this won’t help anyway.
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Good points. 🙂
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No family is more multicultural than mine. The big event this year is my eldest daughter’s wedding. She lives in East Lansing, MI where she works at the University of Michigan and is marrying a co-worker who is a fellow from the mountains of North Carolina where they fly the “Stars and Bars” while talking about the “War of Northern Aggression” so I’ll be meeting my prospective Confederate In-laws at the end of the year. They met at an archaeological dig in southern Italy. My second oldest daughter is dating a fellow from an old Connecticut Yankee family so both sides of the American Civil War will be at the wedding. If that isn’t enough, my Ex comes from United Empire Loyalist family, monarchists who moved from Pennsylvania to Thorold, Ontario (20 miles north of Niagara Falls) in the 1780s so there’ll also be both sides of the American Revolution present – it should be an interesting moment at the reception.
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This is hilarious. Bug in a really good way. 🙂
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