I will baptize Klara in the Russian Orthodox Church. And yes, I know, it sounds bizarre after everything I always have to say about ROC. But what else can I do? It’s not like I can show up at an Anglican church or whatever and demand that a baptism be conducted. There is got to be some connection to the church in the family. There has got to be somebody who at least is kind of trying to practice. And for us, that is only the Russian Orthodox Church.
People keep asking about Judaism but we lost our connection to it so long ago that it means nothing to us. Orthodox Christianity feels right in its meaning, even if the practice is elusive. But Judaism feels entirely alien.
The good news is that there is this really good Orthodox priest whom my parents have known for years, and whatever ROC is or isn’t, this particular priest is everything that a priest should be.
It’s not our fault that we have been robbed of a possibility to exist within an unbroken religious tradition that would feel organic and meaningful to us. What I want to do is create for Klara a possibility of inscribing herself into a symbolic order if she so wishes. And if not, then, obviously, that’s a choice that will have to be respected as well.
This is a long and roundabout way of informing everybody that since the situation in Ukraine stabilized, the last three months of blog earnings have gone to buy Klara’s baptismal robe, bonnet, blanket and cross cord. The blog’s readers will be rewarded by a photo of Klara in the outfit.
Clarissa's Blog 
http://www.telesurtv.net/english/news/Russian-Orthodox-Church-Leader-Meets-Fidel-Castro-in-Havana–20160214-0014.html
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I got something much better 🙂
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congrats for what appears to be a big event for you!
And if out of line here, I have no problem saying you don’t want to answer etc. But I couldn’t parse if this is mainly”I want to give klara the right to choose religion if she wants without us deciding its not true”? I guess I assumed you didn’t fundamentally believe in the christain god. I go to easter and christmas eve as a famiy thing and am very respectful of other’s religious believes, but basically am a deist/ agnostic myself. For some reason I lumped you in closer to my camp or atheism..am I wrong?
(again, totally ok to decline to answer, but if willing to share just curious)
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I have faith but I don’t know how to practice. I was never baptized, I don’t take the sacraments, I don’t do the fasts, etc. But my faith is profound, and it was the one thing that helped me deal with my son’s death.
My husband is an agnostic, though, and we coexist very happily. 🙂
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Sorry, but what stops you from being baptized as an adult now?
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I don’t want to be one of those clowns who do it because it’s suddenly fashionable. I need to be ready for full-scale practice, and I’m not.
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But why do you care what others will think? Your internal faith apparently is strong, and if baptism is first and foremost about the connection with the divine – where this idea even comes from that you’ll have to practice all the way? I am not trying to convince you to do or not to do anything, I just see the contradiction between the way you treat yourself and the way you treat Klara… I know you well enough to suspect that you are not expecting Klara to “practice full scale”. So if it is acceptable for Klara, and will not undermine her connection with the divine – why is it unacceptable for you?
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“So if it is acceptable for Klara, and will not undermine her connection with the divine – why is it unacceptable for you?”
“But why do you care what others will think? ”
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I am personally incapable of religious faith but I like many elements of orthodox ceremonies.
My general thought is that if you have to have a religion then one that most people don’t practice very rigorously but which has intricate and odd and striking ceremonies is the way to go.
Is head covering for women a thing in the ROC? It seems to be for the Bulgarian church though Greek and Romanian churches seem more lax about that. If so you going to wear head covering during the baptism?
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Ah! Thank you for the reminder! Yes, I have to cover my head and I completely forgot about that. As I said, we are all so bad at this.
But yes, the liturgy is beautiful. And there are no benches, so we will stand during the long ceremony.
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“And there are no benches, so we will stand during the long ceremony.”
In the city where I live there’s a Церква for the Polish Orthodox Church and many years ago I went out of curiosity. They had chairs but most people didn’t use them. Some older ladies sat down for part of the service (individually not at the same time) but as a guest I didn’t feel that that would be proper. Imagine my surpise when every single person went up for communion (in orderly lines by row).
I didn’t think it was proper for me to do so but I thought that excluding myself would stand out even more and so I did it. Oh, and people were kind of staring at me since it was obviously a small group of people who mostly knew each other.
I’m sort of considering visiting again since there are more russian/ukrainian speakers in town and I’m wondering if they go (since living in another country makes many people more religiously observant). It used to be that hearing Russian speakers was very rare but now I hear people speaking Russian or Ukrainian every few days.
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I went to the baptism of my niece Klubnikis in very high heels and had to finish the service barefoot. 😀 And now Klubnikis decided that she’s Jewish all of a sudden. 😃
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As always, someone claims to be making a better more comfortable stiletto.
How long was the baptism? How high were the heels?
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No, they were nothing as uncomfortable as these. 😲 OR I’d be crippled already.
The ceremony is over an hour. The baby gets dunked several times.
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I was baptized in my 40s in Victory Presbyterian Church which is part of the Presbyterian Church of Ghana. Having made the decision to to it myself as an adultit somehow seems more meaningful. Plus I really like the man who baptized me, Rev. Daniel.
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“Having made the decision to to it myself as an adultit somehow seems more meaningful”
That’s the rationale behind the evangelical idea of being ‘born again’ a conscious decision that can only be taken by an adult.
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Yes, with my luck, she’ll definitely become a puppy-loving evangelical whose favorite dish is onion rings. 😤
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And her first job will be in an office that makes sure that multilingual university professors who’ve lived in more than country have a sufficient understanding of cultural diversity.
Her particular job will be instructing people how to look at job applicants to see if they belong to a minority group.
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I was probably baptized as an infant by my doctor-of-divinity Presbyterian minister grandfather, but I really don’t remember. Fortunately, if that event ever occurred, it didn’t stick.
I’ve always had lots of faith — in myself. I’ll take the cash, and let the credit go.
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Look on the bright side: Since you haven’t chosen Judaism, she’ll be able to do things with her hands.
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Yes, because Jews only do things with their elbows.
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Do you have any hesitation with Klara’s lack of consent here? I say this because you’ve been such a vocal promoter of giving children their space. I remember you saying it wasn’t even OK to hug a baby/toddler without her consent, even if you’re family (and I stopped doing that to my toddler nephews and nieces the moment I read that).
How do you feel about making such a profound spiritual decision on her behalf?
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I don’t really see it as a major decision, I guess. It’s more of a way to surround her with far-flung relatives in a celebration that’s only about her. If we had any other sort of a ritual like that but we are very culturally impoverished for historical reasons.
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I forgot if you answered this already, but is Klara’s last name yours or N’s or a combination of the two?
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She has mine. We’d agreed from the start that boys go on his last name and girls go on mine. Even grammatically it makes sense because his last name is in the male form and would sound very weird on a girl and vice versa.
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I thought in Russia it was customary for wives to take a feminine form of their husband’s surname (e.g., Putin’s ex-wife, Lyudmila Putina).
But then you’d die before you’d follow any Russian custom, right?
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I have five degrees and a stack of publications in my name. What are the chances I’d be ditching that for some custom or other?
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Well, I have three degrees and a stack of mostly horror fiction stories that I’ve written and sold since I retired. I was so embarrassed by my stories (all pulp garbage) that I actually published them under my real name. But I did have enough self-respect to leave the “M.D.” off.
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