As an immigrant, one always encounters things that are confusing, no matter how well one speaks the language. Today at the daycare, for instance, the director told me that kids were about to eat goldfish for their 11 am snack.
I knew that it wasn’t possible that kids would be snacking on actual goldfish, of course, but I had no idea what the director meant.
When the snack was served, I realized Goldfish is a brand of tiny fish-shaped crackers that children ate from paper napkins.
There is always something like this, especially in what concerns childhood experiences. I didn’t grow up around here, so goldfish crackers and Co mean nothing to me. I only discovered what Play-Doh is thanks to my niece Klubnikis (and it’s such an amazing thing!). Maybe I should buy the Goldfish crackers.
Clarissa's Blog 
In the mid-twentieth century, a fad among college frat-boy types was to get attention by swallowing live goldfish.
YouTube has videos of a current British idiot (28-year old “youth counselor”!) who’s facing jail time for posting videos of himself eating — as in chewing up alive — his pet goldfish. He’s also posted videos of himself eating various live invertebrates (scorpions, a trantula). But since a fish is a vertebrate, British law can charge him with animal cruelty. It’s a shame the UK no longer hangs certain criminals.
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I also thought of goldfish swallowing (swallowed whole with no chewing), not exactly an …. uplifting activity but hardly the worst thing people do to fish they consume. They do far worse in China, Japan and Korea on a daily basis.
But eating goldfish as in chewing? Yechhh
Other mid 20th century college fads included cramming people into phonebooths or cars, eating lightbulbs and ironing hair (actually lots of high school age white girls ironed their hair too).
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When my pet goldfish died I asked my mother, “Are we going to eat him?” But we buried it in the backyard instead.
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In addition to bring a near universal US toddler snack, I remember reading that Goldfish crackers are also a staple of happy hours at bars because they are a cheap “free” snack to provide patrons.
It is hard to think of another food stuff with such clearly defined — and diametrically opposed — markets.
Play dough, Goldfish crackers…I can’t begin to imagine what other bits of American culture motherhood will introduce you to.
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There are all these nursery rhymes I don’t know, all these little engines that could, or whatever, something called Dr Seuss, Peppa, Caillou, etc. Plus, let’s remember that I’ve never even seen something like a lunchbox. I know what it is but I’ve never actually seen one.
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“something called Dr Seuss”
Aka Theodor Geisel, arguably one of the most important American cultural figures of the 20th century.
As I put it sometimes, the generation that grew up reading Dr Seuss became the hippies and there hasn’t been a normal generation since….
I loved Dr Seuss books as a kid, full of odd creatures, weird inventions and fun rhymes. The illustrations are imaginative and the texts are fun to read out loud. Great stuff.
You should become acquainted with them since Klara will undoubtedly become familiar with them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Seuss
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Sandra Boynton is the new Dr. Seuss. One of my students introduced me to her by giving me four of her books when the kid was born. Eventually (I think) we had them all, and I had all of them memorized. My favorite was The Birthday Monsters, but the kid liked Boo, Baa, La La La.
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I was in the same boat. You’ll become fluent in all of them, have no fear, and sooner than you think. Peppa the Pig, Caillou (he’s so fuckin’ annoying). Dr Seuss’s books are really cool. Angelina Ballerina when Klara is older. Dora the Explorer!
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I grew up with Dr. Seuss and had a hard time liking his books after the disappointing ending to Green Eggs and Ham. It was completely un-hippie.
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Cheerios — eaten straight from the box — were another popular snack when my kid was a toddler. They were supposed to be healthy, because they had no sugar and were made of oats. Also they taught small-motor control, blah blah blah, because the kids picked up the tiny ohs with their little fingers.
Very much a yuppie-parenting thing, but my kid did like them.
Also frozen seedless grapes, but you were supposed to cut each grape in half, to reduce the risk of choking, and that took more parenting effort than I had in me, most days.
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The famous Kellogg-brand cereals now called “Frosted Flakes,” “Honey Smacks,” and “Corn Pops” were once sold as “Sugar Frosted Flakes, “Sugar Smacks,” and “Sugar Corn Pops.”
But back then , doctors advertised cigarettes, too.
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Daycare boasted that they were feeding the children with salty crackers? Actual goldfish would be far more nutritious…
We don’t have goldfish crackers in the UK, we do have terrible multi coloured corn concoctions called Monster Munch.
The only goldfish my kids ate were tinned peach slices, family nickname for these being goldfish.
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