So I didn’t find the coat. Out of desperation- it’s gotten cold again! – I tried on my old pre-babies coat and. . . it fit. This is incredible because I haven’t worn it since 2012. I tried it on in November, and the flaps wouldn’t even remotely meet. There was a whole horizontal palm between them.

This is like Christmas all over again. 

Sometimes it’s nice to remember the young, crazy, partying version of me. I love my life but from time to time I do get nostalgic for who I was before I became the responsible, psychologically healthy, wife-and-mother type. It’s like the person I was back then died and I never got to mourn her. 

Hey, folks, have you ever tried this drink where beer is mixed with bloody Mary mix? It’s great. Almost completely masks the taste of beer. 

The only problem is that I never finish a beer and use what’s left to cook. But this stuff I can’t cook with, it’s too out there. 

I also had my very first car crash last week. As crashes go, this one was very minimal. I was backing out very slowly from my parking lane and this woman – also known as a rabid idiot from hell – was very slowly coming in. The cars barely touched each other but this freak insisted on calling campus security so we had to wait for an hour for them to get there. Then we had to wait for another 50 minutes while they tried to find any damage to the cars (there was none) and wrote a report. 

I’m guessing this woman is a student who wanted an excuse not to go to class. For her sake, I hope she has no interest in Spanish. 

If you are applying for a position with a stated salary, it’s not a brilliant idea to communicate in the first line of you CV that currently you are making twice as much. People won’t know what to make of this information since no salary is that negotiable.

At Purdue I’d often see students trudge towards classes in pajamas, with tousled bed hair, and smelling of unshowered bodies. At other places, I’ve seen that, too. Never here, though. Out students are always very decently attired. No needless parts of their physique are thrust into my field of vision. 

And we are not a commuter campus, so that’s not the reason. I think are students tend to be more mature in character. 

On the positive side, I came up with a great research agenda for this year. Three articles that I want to write in 2017 – I can see them very clearly. I only wish I saw the dang coat as clearly. 

This means that the plan to just read and not write anything for two months has been canned. I’m already working on article #1, and guess what, it’s not even remotely about the nation-state. 

I just can’t fucking get a break today. The coat is gone, Klara refused to nap unless I rocked her the whole time or play unless I actively entertained her (still teething), I had to stay grading until almost 11 pm, when I finally decided to eat it turned out the food had gone bad but I didn’t realize it before swallowing.  .  .

and when I finally decide to take a quiet moment and visit my farm, it turns out they chose this moment to have server maintenance and I can’t play. 

Yes, these are small troubles. But I’m exhausted and everything annoys me. 

I’m one of those people who look perfectly functional when we lack sleep but who begin to act erratically in ways not perceptible to others. People don’t realize we are slowly going nuts because we look quite normal.

I lost my coat. It’s a good coat, Calvin Klein. I got it on a huge sale so it wasn’t that expensive but still, it’s mine and I like it. I’m obviously not living it up with an 11-month-old baby, hopping from one place to another, so it’s not like there are many places for me to lose it. But the fact remains: I don’t have the coat. 

I also have blackouts, like a drunk person. There’s evidence that I did things that I have no memory of. Some are slightly creepy. 

I’m not looking for advice, I just want to share the story.