Of course, my birthday has to fall on the only day of the week when I have 6 teaching hours, going all the way until 7:10 pm. I wish I were more into work so that I could see this as something good. Or more into this work.
I have this very unfortunate character trait where I can absolutely love something but then one tiny little thing sets me against it, and that’s it, all love is gone. With people, if it’s that rare person I care deeply about, it takes something like a big betrayal to turn me off them. With people I simply like, a little thing is enough.
And this is what happened in my relationship with this school. I loved it but then a single meeting put me completely off. I try to fake enthusiasm but I’m a shitty actress. It’s very sad.
I definitely understand your feelings — both about your birthday and about your school. I really like birthdays, so when they get screwed up, it ruins everything. I’m sorry you’re going to have such a busy day on your birthday! Compounded with the fact that your enthusiasm for your school has waned, it’s really unfortunate.
I feel like I’m walking through a “fun house” at my school. Every time I think things are going well, the fucking bottom drops out from under me. It’s all trap doors and mirrored rooms here.
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At least, there is the end of the academic year to look forward to, and then. . . travel!
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