The best productivity trick I have right now is to forgive myself for not doing enough. Ideally, the forgiveness should happen every day or I will be eaten alive by feelings of guilt for not doing as much as I should. The summer is at fault because I don’t have to be at work and feel like I need to be doing an insane amount of things to make use of the free time.
I have a notebook that I use every evening to go over all of my daily achievements to stave off the guilt. It works but not as great as I’d like it to.
That’s the trick I am using too.
But to not work and feel guilty about it, or to feel guilty about not overworking, is something I learned as an adult and is not really me. It’s easy to slough off, like a bad habit you’ve picked up via peer influence and leave off just as easily. It appears that most people have this guilt/work complex ingrained far more deeply than I do. It is Erickson’s stage 3.
My psychic wound is in stage 2, which is about autonomy, being a separate person. My mother had such a hard time with this, did not want it to happen, and also spent some months in a mental hospital during this period. I have massive doubt about whether I can be autonomous without having this hurt others, and/or be autonomous and successful at it, and also shame about being autonomous without hurting others and shame about not failing at it. At the same time, I have amazing willpower. That I also find it boring to use — as though I had already used it so much, to become autonomous despite the undertow, that I am tired of it.
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