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Cold Mothers

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Clarissa

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I just realized that I never had a relationship with a man who didn’t have a disinterested, distant, cold and cruel mother. I know why I chose them. I’m terrified of hovering mothers-in-law. I can’t even deal with the idea of it, so I run towards the exact opposite. But what do they see in me? I’m not distant, cold, or cruel but I’m not a nurturing woman. I don’t mother adult men.

I never met my mother-in-law. I saw her once on Skype and received one email from her once. That’s it. She’s never seen her granddaughter. She’s that indifferent. I feel bad for Klara and for N, but I myself, as a separate person, love it.

4 responses to “Cold Mothers”

  1. Shakti Avatar
    Shakti

    . But what do they see in me? I’m not distant, cold, or cruel but I’m not a nurturing woman. I don’t mother adult men.

    In comparison you either seem warm and cuddly to these men or they are replicating a pattern they grew up with. My familial pattern is different.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      I do look cuddly. But I’m not cuddly on the inside. I don’t feel cuddly.

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  2. m Avatar
    m

    I have never met my mother in law. My husband has not spoken to her since he was 16. I like it that way, but I also do not mother my partner as a matter of course.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      There are couples whose whole relationship dynamic is mother-son or father-daughter. And it’s ok if it works for them. But I find the idea of either to be sexually repulsive.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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