We Are Defective

The absolute winner in the “Spanish is a defective version of English” competition at NEMLA is the following statement attributed to one speaker today:

“Indian rectum is mocha.”

The runner-up goes to “Allah Allah oh Allah everywhere in Arizona.”

Thank God in heaven, I gave my talk in English, so nobody can accuse me of anything. I did speak in Spanish during the Q&A, though, so I’m somewhat concerned.

To say that I’m angry is a serious understatement. I’m absolutely livid. To be told, at a modern languages conference, that our languages aren’t real languages if they are not English is just the limit. I hate these inclusively diverse and structurally fragile bastards with every fiber of my being.

I will try to organize a letter of protest about this.

2 thoughts on “We Are Defective

  1. Just tell them their shitty automatic translation algorithm is surdophobic, racist, ageist, and Anglocentric because it’s inaccessible to anyone who needs to lip read, and anyone who speaks English as a second language or not with a broadcast news accent, and anyone speaking in a foreign language. It’s bad if you have to use a dialect for any reason. NEMLA should have better translation than Netflix’s “someone is speaking a foreign language” so what are they going to do about it?

    I’m sure you have other things to say I haven’t thought of. It’s not like going or viewing this conference is cheap, so hiring a person to simultaneously translate is not unreasonable is it?


  2. This seems like a fantastic opportunity undermine woke by out-woking them. Make a stink. Be loud and obnoxious about how discriminatory, non-inclusive, and Anglo-centrically colonial this is. Outrage! Offense taken!

    IMO one of the primary weaknesses of the whole woke-elite-jobs-competition scam is that the convoluted social games they’ve set up select for keen social awareness over actual accomplishment and competence. It seems like it should be possible to exploit that weakness to score some goals and weaken the chokehold they’ve got on academia and other professional hierarchies.

    Setting up a scenario where their natural deficits in skill and competence can credibly be read as anti-woke… seems like an irresistible target.


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