Ultra Cautious

My walks with my kid are filled with endless, “mind your step! Be careful! Watch where you go! Who put this here? A person can trip and get hurt! Who threw this garbage on the ground? Littering is not OK! Let’s pick it up and take it to the trash can. Careful, there’s a big puddle ahead! This looks too slippery, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to go there.”

I hope everybody understands that the cautious, orderly individual issuing these statements isn’t me.

6 responses to “Ultra Cautious”

  1. cliff arroyo Avatar

    “the cautious, orderly individual”

    Is she cautious about herself or is she trying to protect dumb awkward mommy from herself?

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    1. Clarissa Avatar

      I think it’s both. Remember the way syr threw tantrums when she was a toddler? She’d find a comfortable spot, arrange herself carefully on the floor, straighten her clothes, and then proceed with the tantrum.

      But there’s definitely some compensation going on for my . . . particularly endearing qualities. 🙂

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      1. cliff arroyo Avatar

        ” the way syr threw tantrums”

        Is ‘syr’ a neo-pronoun for unicorn princesses?

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        1. Clarissa Avatar

          Hilarious. 🙂

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  2. Tal Hartsfeld Avatar

    I’d definitely be one going off about littering …..

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    1. Clarissa Avatar

      I hate littering, too. I come from an aggressively littering culture and I know how ugly it makes everything.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor