Learning to Make Choices

I surprised a group of moms yesterday by revealing that Klara dresses herself and has done so since forever. I don’t choose her clothes because why do I need that headache in my life? Even when she was a baby, I’d hold up a bunch of onesies and dress her in the one she tried to grab.

“But what if the outfit she comes up with is weird or inappropriate?”

Well, she’s going to face the consequences and either learn to live with them or make a different choice next time. It’s an important life lesson.

“But what if she ends up feeling cold? Or hot? Or the dress is too long for her to climb and run?”

Again, life lesson. She’ll have to learn to take these things into account one day. Why not now?

Klara made a turban out of warm pijama pants, tied it up with ribbons, decorated it with hair clips, and wears it to church. It actually looks really cute. And who cares anyway? She’s five.

I don’t tell her what to wear, what to eat or when or where or how. And as a result, she’s now really good at taking weather into account when she goes out.

Here’s Klara in an outfit of her own composition. The pijama pants are incorporated into a different kind of headwear:

The church doesn’t require headwear. It’s her own thing.

5 thoughts on “Learning to Make Choices

  1. This looks much like my daughter at that age. We were looking at family pictures and this could be one of ours. She always chose her own outfits. Some were quite outlandish. I had friends surprised by that too. It seems like such a simple way to allow them some control over their lives that is quite low stakes. Their view seemed to be focused on how others would judge them for not caring or living up to some standard.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a cool outfit, Klara! I used to do that kind of stuff as a young girl, too. It was so much fun.

    My daughter is six and for the most part has been dressing herself for four years. Ever since she could and had a desire to. Sometimes she asks me to pick out her outfit and I do still enjoy it! But it’s fun to let her pick and be creative with her clothing. I do have her ask Alexa (we have a echo dot in our bathroom) what the weather is and she makes choices based on what the weatherman tells her. If she comes up wildly weather inappropriate we talk about it and she will make appropriate changes. As another reader said, really easy no true harm in letting them control this aspect of their lives and out their own spin on things.


  3. I like her style!

    My kids mostly pick their own outfits, but I exercise veto power so they can’t wear their play-clothes (regular clothes become play-clothes when they develop too many stains and holes in them) to church, or their church-clothes to paint in.


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