The Winning Candidate

We had 4 candidates for Chancellor. Three black men and a white woman. The search committee was the diversity office. Here is the breakdown of the candidates:

1. One was brilliant, charming, an alumnus with a great knowledge of our campus, our programs, and our issues. He was the only candidate to talk about the physical buildings on campus. His understanding of diversity is heavily oriented towards helping the disabled students. Also, he’s the only candidate to use the words “research” and “productivity.”

2. The second one was. . . OK. Not a superstar like the first but a perfectly reasonable, decent candidate.

3. The woman was. . . not a star. A typical plodding bureaucrat with no original ideas.

4. The fourth candidate was so neoliberal he looked like a parody. We need data! And dashboards! We need software that shows us data on dashboards! And an app! How great would it be to have an app? Once we get the dashboard data on an app, we can start “taking difficult decisions about the workforce.” We need to work harder, deliver fewer services, and move much of our operations online. Because online education is anti-racist! And so are data dashboards in apps!

The neoliberal guy evinced zero knowledge of our campus. He was the youngest, the least experienced, and the most robotic in his delivery. The spoke in a bureaucratic jargon and not a single glimpse of anything human shone through the wall of meaningless neologisms. Every colleague I spoke to was dismayed by this guy. Obviously, the diversity office voted for him and he was hired.

5 thoughts on “The Winning Candidate

  1. The neoliberal guy said what the committee wanted to hear: “taking difficult decisions about the workforce”, which I guess means firing librarians and gardeners to hire more diversity bureaucrats. The talk about “dashboard data” and “apps” means: we can hide behind computer applications to do what we want, for instance firing librarians and hiring diversity counsellors.


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