Failure to Let Go

I chair a department that offers 8 languages.

I’m developing three new courses for the next academic year.

I work as a translator and interpreter.

I’m writing a book in Ukrainian.

I’m writing an article in Spanish.

I’m writing a book chapter in English.

I serve on the executive board of two scholarly associations.

I do a lot of public speaking.

I read voraciously in 4 languages.

I take online classes in Spain and Ukraine.

I paint.

I cook.

I have an intense relationship with my husband.

And with all this, I’m still struggling with letting Klara go as she enters the first major stage of separation. I’m aware that I struggle, which by itself guarantees that I won’t torture her too much with my resistance. The scary situations are when the mother doesn’t struggle because she internally forbade the separation.

We hear a lot of talk about young people’s failure to launch but it’s not their failure. Nor is it the fault of the “bad economy” because nobody heard of this issue in, say, Dickensian England with its much harsher economic circumstances. It’s the failure of parents to let go. I’m saying honestly that it’s very hard. I have a very full life, yet I still feel the loss.