The Barbie Speech

So everybody has heard about the “iconic” It’s impossible to be a woman l speech in the new Barbie movie, right? I cringed in embarrassment when I read it. The pouty infantilism of this text delivered by a middle-aged woman would be funny if so many women in their forties and fifties didn’t post it on their social media in complete seriousness. Of course, it’s filled with the passive-voice whiny complaints about how “you are supposed”, “you are accused” and “is rigged” that allows the posters to weasel out of who’s doing all this supposing and accusing.

Nothing mentioned in the speech exists in reality. The list of complaints is pure wish-fulfillment. The narcissistically wounded recipients of the speech want to have their every move observed but nobody has time or interest to pay attention. The speech validates their fantasy that the whole world is in thrall to their weight, appearance, behavior, etc.

Yes, Barbie is entertainment that nobody is supposed to take seriously. This is why it’s disturbing that so many women took it seriously.

The full text of the speech is below. I can’t even re-read it, it’s so embarrassing.

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas.

You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behaviour, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.

You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.”