I need scissors in my office. It’s impossible to work without scissors but all of mine mysteriously disappeared.
I asked the secretary to buy me some scissors. When they arrived, I grabbed the package and joyously dragged them to my office.
And then I realized that to open the package with the scissors I need … scissors.
Clarissa's Blog 
Didn’t God give you teeth? And nails? 🙂
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Sorry about the crap link. You need one of these or similar, on your keychain:
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I often open cardboard packages with my keys (the rough side cuts nicely through packing tape).
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Are switchblades legal in IL? 🙂
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Same. Taught my kids meaning of catch-22
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