I gave a talk today about Ukrainian independence. I’m now invited as a living witness of historic events, imagine that. I even recently got a request to talk about my memory of Holodomor but I looked really crap that day, so it’s understandable.
During today’s talk, though, I ended up having to excise several of the best parts of the talk. They are based on anecdotes involving my father, and every time I would get to a story like this, I would feel tears choking me. So I edited on the fly.
I finished 20 minutes earlier, and the mangled talk wasn’t nearly as good as usual.
I have another public appearance on Tuesday, and I really hope I manage to hold myself together. I don’t want to become known as a weepy speaker who has fits of hysteria during talks.
Clarissa's Blog 
“I have another public appearance on Tuesday”
Can you bring the Ukrainian teacher along? I bet she’d be a great addition to such talks.
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Yes, we are going together! It’s a “global diversity” talk that I’m making sane for the second year in a row. Truly a public service.
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If you can figure out how to get it together, feel free to post about it or give any tips. My FIL passed January 2022 and I cannot talk about him or at times even think of him without becoming an incoherent mess. I loved him so much and he was truly more of a father to me than my father. I’d love to be able to tell my kids about their abuelo without wilting.
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I’m so sorry for your loss!
I have no idea how to get it together. Yesterday I was driving past the hospital where I had given birth to my son and I wanted to mention it to Klara but I knew that if I managed to squeeze out the words, I’d start bawling and it’s too dangerous on the highway.
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Time. You want so bad for there to be “This one Neat Trick” or “Five Easy Steps” or whatever, but time and patience are what actually works for that.
After fifteen years, I can, carefully, talk about my sister without cracking up.
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