Family Dynamics

N’s sister finalized her second divorce and called him to share. I’m glad they are talking because for the longest time there’s been no relationship at all. It’s weird, though, because the conversation eventually turned into an advice session where the sister started to give N advice on how to avoid problems in his personal life.

Poor woman, she recently went to a clinic to get her eggs frozen “for the future” when she will finally be ready to have children. She’s in her forties, so obviously, it turned out there are no more eggs to freeze. She’s shocked because she had no idea that the egg supply isn’t limitless. (Yes, N ended up with the entire brain supply of the whole family).

The reason why I’m sharing all this is because N had had this dynamic with his mother and sister forever until he met me. These exceptionally unsuccessful women who failed at everything in life would endlessly criticize and try to improve the son and brother who was much better at everything than them. The mom who weighs 300 lbs would pester him with healthy living advice and the sister who never worked a day in her life would proffer endless tips on career advancement. Now, on the day of yet another divorce, she’s regaling the brother who is in a very successful marriage with advice on … how to stay married. There hasn’t been any parenting advice yet but I’m sure it’s coming.

At this point, N knows how to treat these behaviors with the mockery they deserve but when we first met, he sincerely thought he was a loser and these two women the queens of the universe. Family dynamics can be completely messed up. It’s hard to imagine just how messed up until you see this for yourself.