Last week, there was a big event at my school with all department Chairs present in our long, heavy robes and velvet hats. A very nice and well-meaning American photographer wanted us all to hug. It so happened that I stood next to a very religious professor of Physics who is Muslim. The idea of hugging a strange woman during Ramadan was clearly unappealing. I also needed no hugs because it was hot like the dickens, and I’m not a tactile person, to put it mildly.
As a result, the Muslim prof, whose English isn’t that great, was backing up into a corner with a desperate, “No, no hugs!” The photographer was chiding, “You should hug her, it’s disrespectful not to!”, I was bleating that I’m perfectly fine without hugs, and a handsy professor of performing arts was butting in with an eager, “I’ll hug her! I’m here to hug!”
This is a great metaphor for the typical American well-meaning need to butt in with its two-state solutions, peace talks, Budapest Memorandums, and other dum-dums that nobody else needs but everybody has to put up with and live with the consequences.
Clarissa's Blog 
ick. You’d think after all this time, we’d be over forcing people to violate their most basic physical comfort boundaries.
The correct response to this situation is to shout “I TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID THIS MORNING!”
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š
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While I am very affectionate with my husband and children, I absolutely would not hug a rando colleague. I don’t even like to hug my friends. That photoshoot sounds like a nightmare.
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(fellow non-hugger waves from across room)
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It’s hilarious how we’re both being downvoted for not being huggers! š
Non-huggers unite! Just don’t stand too close, please šš
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I’m flattered! I have a dedicated downvoter who downvotes nearly everything I comment, without reference to content. It’s a special bond (heart emojies go here)– like the cat I had when I was a kid who used to ask for tummy-scratches and then maul my hand. It was our sweet demented game. I still have little scars. I miss that cat (sniffs).
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…otoh, if you have ever been to Forgiveness Vespers, you will understand how dedicated to my religion I am, when I say I have only missed it once in the last fifteen years.āLeaves me kind of shell-shocked for the day, but…āit’s how we begin Lent, there’s no chickening out!
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