That’s an interesting observation because I’ve never seen it this way. I never answer the phone if I don’t have a very specific and strong need to talk to the person calling at that moment. And I pretty much never have any need to talk to strangers. It’s the same thing with emails. I don’t even open, let alone answer, about 60% of emails I get at work because there are so many of them. The only people who always get their emails answered the second I see them are students. The idea that I’d open emails from people trying to sell me something is quite alien to me.
What I find interesting is that the quoted poster perceives a relationship between a salesperson and his unwilling mark as social and not commercial. And he indicates that younger people see it as strictly commercial. I’m neither a Millennial or a Zoomer but I believe these young people have gotten it right. Commercial and private are different things. We should not confuse them because the moment you let commercial into the private, the private is gone.
I was once friendly with a woman who was a sales rep for a supplement company. We went to dinner and she told me about how disappointed she was in a mutual acquaintance.
“I’ve been so nice to Esther!” she exclaimed. “I thought we were really becoming friends. I had her over to our place, we went out to dinner a lot. And she still didn’t buy anything from me! Not a single purchase in all this time!”
“I’m sorry, are you expecting me to buy something?” I asked bluntly because this sounded like too much of a hint.
“Oh no!” the woman said. “I really like you. I’d want to be friends regardless. Esther, though! Why did she think I was hanging out with her this whole time? Any normal person would have figured it out and bought something.”
This person still tries to suggest hanging out at regular occasions but I can never figure out to what extent it’s a sales strategy, so I don’t participate.
Clarissa's Blog 
“Let you down softly” is a strategy developed for a world that doesn’t exist anymore: one where you live in a small town/community, you see the same people socially and commercially, the girl ringing up your groceries is the niece of your coworker, and the guy selling you a car is your cousin’s uncle. And… the only people ringing your phone are people you know, or people who dialed the number wrong.
If you apply that strategy to a world where everybody has a phone in her hand all the time, scammers call you five times a day from India, and most commercial transactions are done online… it doesn’t work. Low-volume, high-trust strategies break down hard in a high-volume, low-trust environment. And “being nice about it” just makes you look exploitable.
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if I engaged someone to help me find a mortgage, or a car or anything else, I would let them know I’ve gone with another broker/sale/etc
if unsolicited contact, no need to reply.
amanda
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I don’t read a vast majority of emails sent to me. Open email client in the morning, and just delete delete delete unread. As you say, I look at emails from students and colleagues, most of the rest is deleted unread. What’s this illusion that people owe you time/money/engagement just because you ask?
I can’t remember the last time I talked to anyone on the phone. It was probably school nurse for one of my kids or some such. People I know will text. People calling who I don’t know are invariably scammers and instantly blocked.
A prospective graduate student found me on WhatsApp (which I have to communicate with literally three people from my country of origin). He messaged me, and it made me absolutely livid. If I’m not responding to your email, you should take a hint, not stalk me on other apps FFS.
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“I look at emails from students”
How can you tell? I often get emails from students (not from university address but some other account with a name that’s completely unrecognizable).
I delete emails that are clearly spam or scam bait but I still have to open some to see if it is something that needs to be reacted to.
I mostly don’t answer the phone if it’s a number I don’t recognize.
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Ours aren’t allowed to use other email addresses in the university context. Nothing from gmails and hotmails ever gets opened and they learn it early enough.
If also somebody taught them how to attach a file to an email and work in track changes mode, I’d be very happy.
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“aren’t allowed to use other email addresses in the university context”
I’m trying to process the idea of people that don’t do things that “aren’t allowed”… and I’m failing…. miserably.
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I mean, if the subject isn’t indicative of a student issue (“prospective student interested in joining your group”) and is also is not from the university address, it won’t get read.
Even students from the university will give some hint they’re students in the subject (like “CLASS 123 midterm question”) or some such.
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“the quoted poster perceives a relationship between a salesperson and his unwilling mark as social”
Well in the traditional American model it was a social relationship of a kind…. so many Europeans think that shallow or even superficial relationships aren’t real but a lot of what made the US so pleasant to live in for so long was that people extended basic courtesy to strangers and/or those with whom they only had fleeting superficial relationships with. Europe tends to go to the other extreme and if you haven’t known someone since you were in second grade together they might as well be a big rock….
If you were serious enough about a big purchase to see the person more than once you let them know personally if you weren’t going through on it. The salesperson might not like the info but they appreciate knowing not to waste more time pursuing it.
Of course the ‘be nice to people you only have fleeting contacts with’ model is dead largely for the reasons methylethyl pointed out… the traditional product and service economy has been replaced by the slash and burn scam economy where everyone is a grifter or mark or emotionless android…
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I guess I need context. If I agreed to something then changed my mind, I will directly say I changed my mind; I’ve noticed that many zoomers are very averse to being direct. But broadly, the idea that I’m obligated to read and listen to unwanted emails and phone calls from someone trying to sell me something is baffling. We have no relationship.
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Hi Clarissa, by the way my sisters’ named Clair. Type II and Type III diabetes plagues generations of my family. Pardon me but have made a tremendous breakthrough in medical research.
Type II diabetes, the consequence of an imbalance of large Intestines gut bacteria?
The Gut Microbiome and Diabetes: a lively crowd of trillions of bacteria. When the gut microbiome is in harmony (think diverse and balanced), it can influence various aspects of health, including blood sugar regulation. Gut health improves Insulin sensitivity.
The gut microbiome plays a crucial role in digestion and metabolism. Certain bacteria can ferment dietary fibers, producing short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs) that help regulate insulin sensitivity. Specific bacterial populations associated with obesity and insulin resistance have been identified in the large intestine.
Dysbiosis can promote systemic inflammation, which is a risk factor for insulin resistance and Type II diabetes. This disruption of the normal balance of gut microbiota—plays a fascinating role in our health, and its impact extends far beyond our intestines.
The Gut-Brain Axis and Dysbiosis: Imagine it as a two-way communication highway between our gut and our brain. Signals zip back and forth, affecting everything from mood to metabolism. Insulin Resistance and Type II Diabetes – Insulin Resistance and Type II Diabetes Vs. Dysbiosis and Inflammation.
Dysbiosis can lead to an imbalance in the gut ecosystem. When certain harmful bacteria proliferate, they release toxins and inflammatory molecules. Dysbiosis can breach the gut barrier and enter the bloodstream. In the bloodstream, they trigger a systemic inflammatory response.
This inflammation does not limit itself to the gut; it affects distant organs, including fat tissue and the pancreas. Dysbiosis can activate low-grade chronic inflammation in the pancreatic islets, the insulin-producing cells. Over time, this inflammation damages the islet structure and impairs insulin secretion. Prolonged gut dysbiosis can make us more susceptible to insulin resistance. These inflammatory molecules circulating in our blood interfere with insulin signaling.
This systemic inflammatory state explains the onset of both Type II and Type III diabetes. Alzheimer’s disease (AD) risks increase with a high-fat diet. Probiotic microbes ferment prebiotic fibers, they release short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs). These SCFAs help regulate blood sugar levels. Probiotic-Rich foods: yoghurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kimchi. Foods like garlic, onions, bananas, and asparagus.
Kefir—a tangy, slightly effervescent fermented milk drink. Kefir grains produce living cultures. They consist of lactic acid bacteria and yeast. Some health food stores or co-ops carry kefir grains. Consuming kefir daily can lead to improved blood sugar control, making it a valuable addition to a diabetic’s diet.
High-fiber diets promote beneficial bacteria, while high-sugar, high-fat diets can lead to dysbiosis. Kimchi, a traditional Korean dish that combines salted & fermented vegetables. The star of the show, napa cabbage also known as Korean radish, The fermentation process causes the large intestine to digest these preserved vegetables. Kimchi gets its kick from a blend of garlic, ginger, chili peppers (usually in the form of gochugaru, Korean chili flakes), and sometimes fish sauce. As it ferments, kimchi develops complex flavors—spicy, sour, umami, and even a touch of cheesiness.
Non-gelatinized granules are slowly digested in the small intestine. Whole grains like oats and barley fall into this category. Gelatinization occurs when starch is heated in the presence of water. During this process, starch granules absorb water, swell, and lose their crystalline structure. The result is a thickened, gel-like mixture.
Non-gelatinized granules remain relatively intact and do not form a gel when heated. They retain their original structure and are less susceptible to enzymatic breakdown in the small intestine. Non-gelatinized starch is a type of resistant starch (RS). RS is not fully digested in the small intestine but reaches the large intestine, where it serves as a substrate for bacterial fermentation. Consuming resistant starch has several health benefits, including supporting gut health, promoting regular bowel movements, and providing nourishment for beneficial gut bacteria.
Non-gelatinized starches are slowly digested in the small intestine, allowing them to escape to the large intestine. In the colon, these starches become food for colonic microorganisms. The fermentation process produces short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs), which have anti-inflammatory effects and contribute to overall gut well-being. Non-gelatinized granules can be found in foods like green bananas, raw potatoes, and high amylose corn.
High-amylose corn contains a higher proportion of resistant starch. Remember that cooking and cooling corn can increase its resistant starch content. These foods not only provide nourishment but also contribute to gut health due to their resistant starch content. RS foods require peeling and washing away the starch contained within the peel in both green bananas and raw potatoes. Thin sliced raw potatoes good in scalloped potatoes or potato gratin.
Thinly sliced potatoes nestled in a creamy, cheesy embrace. Layer them in a baking dish with butter, cream, garlic, and grated cheese (cheddar for example). Gratin includes a generous layer of bran fiber or more cheese on top. The result? A crispy, golden crust that contrasts beautifully with the creamy layers beneath.
Nutmeg (Myristica fragrans) is a spice commonly used in cooking, baking, and holiday treats. It has a sweet taste and pairs well with other spices like cinnamon and clove. Traditionally, nutmeg has been praised for its antioxidant properties, antibacterial effects, and potential liver protection. Some sources even credit it with effects on the nervous system and imagination.
Nutmeg can be dangerous when consumed in large quantities. It contains a compound called myristicin, which, in excessive amounts, can lead to hallucinations, nausea, and other serious side effects.
Thyme used traditionally to enhance circulation, stimulate the stomach, and decrease digestive distress. Thyme contains compounds like thymol, which have antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties. Thyme’s anti-inflammatory effects may indirectly support gut health by reducing inflammation in the digestive system.
Non-gelatinized starches are slowly digested in the small intestine, allowing them to escape to the large intestine. In the colon, these starches become food for colonic microorganisms. The fermentation process produces short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs), which have anti-inflammatory effects and contribute to overall gut well-being.
High-amylose corn contains a significantly higher proportion of amylose—a type of starch—compared to regular corn. When cooked, high-amylose corn requires higher temperatures to gelatinize and form a stable opaque gel. The gel formed from high-amylose corn is less transparent and has a different texture compared to regular corn. High-amylose corn is often used in modified starch production, resistant starch formulations, and as a source of dietary fiber.
In summary, high-amylose corn stands out for its unique starch properties. When purchasing corn products (such as cornstarch or corn-based foods), check the labels. Look for terms like “high-amylose corn” or “resistant starch corn.” These indicate that the product contains the specific variety you’re interested in. Inquire about the corn varieties they sell. They might have information about high-amylose corn or be able to point you in the right direction.
High-Amylose Corn sold in local health food stores, co-ops, or organic markets. Explore online platforms like Amazon, Thrive Market, or specialty food websites. Search specifically for “high-amylose corn” or “resistant starch corn.” Explore online resources or corn-related websites. Some specialty food suppliers or health-focused brands may explicitly mention high-amylose corn in their product descriptions.
High-amylose corn yields only 75-80% as much per acre as regular corn. This lower yield affects its overall production. Farmers who grow high-amylose corn typically do so under contract with agricultural technology companies. The premium paid to these farmers helps offset the lower yield.
High-amylose corn commands a substantial premium over regular corn. This higher price reflects its unique properties and specialized use. High-amylose corn seed is highly protected, and there are no publicly available germplasm sources. This limited availability contributes to its premium pricing.
Amylose is a resistant starch, meaning it’s not fully digested but instead ferments in your gut, providing nourishment for friendly gut bacteria. High-amylose corn can be a gut-friendly companion. It promotes healthy gut bacteria and may even address the root causes of certain psychological issues. High-amylose corn quietly caters to those who appreciate its gut-loving qualities.
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If it has plagued generations of your family, it might not be type 2. You might want to read up on the monogenic forms of diabetes, look at your family, and ask yourself: “Is this pattern of diabetes consistent with autosomal dominant inheritance patterns?”
The monogenic forms probably account for somewhere less than 15% of diabetes all together, but it’s something to consider any time you have more than a couple of diabetic people in your family.
If it’s monogenic, then it’s nothing to do with gut microbiome (though everyone is certainly better off with a healthy digestion!), and everything to do with gene-mediated protein malformations somewhere along the metabolic chain: insulin receptors, signaling, leptin, pancreatic cells…
Most people with monogenic diabetes are misdiagnosed with T1 or T2.
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I long for the days when telephones where fixed appliances which did not reveal the identity of the caller. One could either decide to answer the call to find out who it was and what it was about, or ignore it, and be done ( or alternatively be left with the doubt that one might have missed an important call).
Personally, I cannot understand why it is so difficult for people to answer their phones, and this phenomenon also makes me wonder why the incidence of autism and other personality disorders has risen in recent decades.
I leave my phone at home more and more frequently, for example when I go to work or when I am doing my shopping: it is switched on so when I come back I can check who called while I was out and call them back. It’s liberating.
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…plus it feels wonderfully subversive to go places without the beastly little tracking devices.
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<quote>…plus it feels wonderfully subversive to go places without the beastly little tracking devices.</quote>
This is tangential, but it reminds me of a disturbing relationship trend I see on social media, where people expect unfettered access to the partner’s phone, their location, etc. Related, you also have these “Is this cheating?” videos and the most innocuous interactions (“Is it cheating if a woman laughs out loud to another man’s joke?”) are labeled cheating. It’s all deeply disturbing. I don’t want to be tracked and I don’t want anyone to look at my phone, not because I’m doing anything untoward, but because I have the right to privacy, my own thoughts, my own web browsing, my own business relationships, acquaintances, and friendships that aren’t scrutinized by my spouse. I don’t want anyone tracking whether or not I went to get coffee before work, or stopped by get gas or whatever. I will tell my spouse what I did and where I went; I don’t want to be tracked. Sometimes I just want to sit in a parking lot for 45 min, reading a book on my phone or listening to the radio, and I don’t want to answer to anyone about it.
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I always turn the thing off for church. Often, I forget to turn it back on again after. Two days later, I’ll get an email from my sibling: “Hey, you forgot to turn your phone on again, call me.”
This is so nice– the days of no phone interaction between, because I forgot it in the car or didn’t turn it on, or the battery ran out and I didn’t notice– that now I look for good times to just, not have it. Instead of turning it off at church, I just leave it at home. Husband has a phone. We’re covered in any emergency, why take it at all? Visiting friends? Phone stays in the car. I’ve begun to think of the device, any time it is turned on, as a potential microphone, and it adjusts my thinking on where it should and should not go. Would I willingly wear a wire to a friend’s house? To church? To talk to my bank? No. To Walmart? No problem.
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When I had my foot injury in July and was confined to my room, the hardest part was that everybody always knew exactly where I was. I didn’t feel like myself. There wasn’t 15 minutes in the day when I’d be untrackable. And that was a heavy burden. Felt so weird.
I totally, completely get what you are saying.
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