This the actual Handmaid’s Tale of our times but cosplaying ladies have zero interest in this. Just like the #MeToo crowd was deathly indifferent to real sexual abuse.
The Real Handmaid’s Tale
Opinions, art, debate
Opinions, art, debate
This the actual Handmaid’s Tale of our times but cosplaying ladies have zero interest in this. Just like the #MeToo crowd was deathly indifferent to real sexual abuse.
Clarissa's Blog 
Normally I try not to criticize people’s life choices, but I don’t like surrogacy, there’s something creepy and dystopian about it. I get that people really want kids, but I wonder why they don’t adopt or become foster parents.
Then again, adoption in the US is a mess since most prospective adoptive parents are white and most kids in the system are minority or have special needs, there’s very few healthy white kids except for poor children in rural areas and even then the kids might have drug addicts for parents. Or the parents of the kid might want their kids back, there’s a lot of cases where the bio parents suddenly want their kids back.
Foster care is also a crapshoot since so many of the kids come from abusive situations and often have emotional problems, the kids might have more problems than the foster parents can handle. Perhaps the solution is that people shouldn’t feel entitled to children, if a couple has a physical condition that precludes them from having children, they could look into adoption even if it means adopting a minority child or child with disabilities
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I guess I am in a minority here, when I don’t see something fully “creepy and dystopian” in a couple that used help of another woman to carry to term their own biological child even when I do recognize some problematic aspects.
In this case we have a heterosexual couple, a man and a woman, who are eager to raise their kids and definitely have the means to invest in them to provide them with a good life. Should they’ve remained childless forever, if a young woman (she’s only 35! it’s not like she waited till 40+) has problems with her womb? Why?
Becoming a forster parent is very different from becoming a parent. Adopting is raising somebody else’s child, not a child of one’s own. If the sperm and the egg are theirs, the baby is 100% their own normal biological baby, who will be loved and raised by both of her own true parents.
If they used an artificial womb, would you’ve been against it too? The technology doesn’t exist yet, but it surely will one day, probably sooner than we expect.
Is this type of surrogacy we have in Israel “Handmaid’s Tale of our times” too?
Some women consider it a mitzvah, a good deed, to help childless couples become parents.
Btw, in Israel “there is no genetic connection between the fetus and the surrogate mother.” I agree that if genetic connection exists, it’s really wrong.
I do disagree with the Israeli law forbidding doing that for one’s relatives. If my brother needed a kidney, the first choice would’ve been to turn to me as his closest, relatively young relative. Yet, if a hypothetical wife were unable to carry to term, he would be forced to search for some unrelated woman to agree to carry his child for altruistic reasons (and partly for money). I view donating a kidney as a bigger sacrifice. People naturally are more ready to help their relatives than unknown alien to them strangers.
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“if a young woman (she’s only 35! it’s not like she waited till 40+) has problems with her womb?”
Does she though? I’ve read (not sure how true but it’s plausible) that a lot of female celebrities pretend to be pregnant while using surrogates because they’re worried about losing their figure and/or losing work opportunities….
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Not just celebrities, I know some female tech CEOs and executives who use surrogates because being pregnant for 9 months will get too much in the way of work.
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Yes, rather than buy a baby and wrench it out of the hands of its mother because they can afford it, they should have done what the entire humanity has done forever in case of infertility.
I don’t even think this broad, whoever she is, must be infertile. I think it’s probable she doesn’t want to be bothered with pregnancy and just wants a cute accessory for photo ops that she will then unload onto nannies.
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\ what the entire humanity has done forever in case of infertility.
It has done very different things.
The Hebrew Bible tells the story of Abraham using his servant / slave Hagar. When Sarah miraculously gave birth to Isaac, Hagar was sent to the desert to die with her son Ishmael.
One our Israeli acquaintance, a Jewish woman who immigrated from Caucasus, currently in her 60ies, was raised by a rich childless couple. They couldn’t have children of their own, so they took a child from a poor couple with many kids (iirc the couple was from their extended family). Imo, this is an example of true horror, not a couple raising their own biological kids (regardless of who carried them in the womb).
Btw, I bet this rich couple wouldn’t dream of adopting a child with special needs born by a drug using mother. I do not think most childless couples during the entire human history were eager for that either, when they did adopt kids.
\ I know some female tech CEOs and executives who use surrogates because being pregnant for 9 months will get too much in the way of work.
Are those CEOs to blame, or is the current work environment putting people in impossible situations? Some people are unemployable, while others work w/o end and fear losing their rat-race jobs if they are slowed down even for a moment.
Putting children into kindergartens at the age of 3 months is also not ideal, yet most teachers I work with do exactly that in order to be able to support those kids.
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”They couldn’t have children of their own, so they took a child from a poor couple with many kids (iirc the couple was from their extended family). Imo, this is an example of true horror, not a couple raising their own biological kids (regardless of who carried them in the womb).”
Why is that an example of a pure horror? Aunts and uncles raising their niece/nephew was not completely unheard of where I am from about 70-80 years ago, we had some cases in my extended family. It would usually be a well off couple that would raise a child from a family of their relatives who were poorer and had many children. No one was forced into such an arrangement in any way and it benefited all. My mom almost ended up in that situation as a child but she did not adjust well to the life with the couple (missed her mom too much), so another cousin took her place. The couple took a good, loving care of the child and gave her good education and opportunities for her future.
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I don’t care who’s to blame but selling people for cash should be illegal.
If it’s legal to sell a baby, then why not an adult? What is the principle at work here?
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\ Yes, rather than buy a baby and wrench it out of the hands of its mother
A surrogate mother is not a mother of this child. The child’s biological parents are her mother and father.
You would agree that a forster mother is not a mother, right?
And a surrogate definitely wouldn’t want to raise not her own child, so no wretching out happens. In Israel only women with their own kids are permitted to become surrogates and imo this is right.
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I’ve already explained on many previous occasions the profound bond that develops during pregnancy and birth between mother and baby. A rich spoiled brat who sweeps in with loads of cash is not the mother. She’s a horrible person who thinks depriving that baby of the most important person in its life to satisfy a whim is fine. She doesn’t love the baby or she would never do that. To take a newborn away from its mother is something only a monster can do. And for what? For a couple of photo ops?
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@el “A surrogate mother is not a mother of this child. The child’s biological parents are her mother and father.”
I understand where you are coming from with this. However, this is not always the case: sometimes the egg also comes from a donor woman, and in some cases the man’s sperm may also be from an anonymous donor.
I’m sure that by “biological” you meant genetic parents. Still, if you re-read your sentence, you might see where the problem lies. If a woman who carries a child (a fetus, if you prefer) in her womb for nine months is not to be called a mother, what is she? Biologically, mother is the only word we have for her. Or else she is a walking womb, a human incubator. Can’t you see that this is precisely the problem? That it is inhuman to treat people – of whatever age – as merely genetic material?
Elsewhere you mention the possibility of “artificial wombs” in the not too distant future. Again, what is it that makes you impervious to the “creepy and dystopian” character of such a development? I am sure that you are familiar with what happens during those nine months between the gestating woman, the mother, and the fetus, the child, growing in her womb. And no, it is not the same as a bun rising in an oven.
You wrote it yourself: Abraham avinu used a slave, Agar, with his wife Sarah’s enthusiastic consent, so that he could conceive an heir. If only Sarah had had faith: fourteen years she was blessed by the Lord with a child at an age where no-one could have presumed it possible: it was indeed a laughable matter – Itshak.
It is good that humanity, with time, should have learnt not to use people as things, as means to an end. But it seems that such a lesson was short-lived, and we are back to the old bad ways, thanks to technology. The means may have changed, but the evil has not. I am only sorry that you seem unable to see it.
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“she is a walking womb, a human incubator”
Walking baby sack….. infant(™) delivery system… Crotch fruit crate…. (I’m just getting started…. I’ll stop now).
“learnt not to use people as things, as means to an end”
the rich are not like you and me (presuming you’re not rich). to them people are props and things and means to ends…. no reason for anyone to idealize that….
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This is all about expanding her photo op range. That baby will be shoved out of view the moment its Insta potential is exhausted.
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The relationship between the mother and the child she carries is one of the most profound, complicated and impactful relationships for both of them. There’s no greater closeness that is possible for humans. Any woman who carried a child knows that the relationship doesn’t begin after the child is born. There’s a profound symbiosis that happens from the very start of the pregnancy. That symbiosis slowly unwinds not at the moment of birth but for years after that. Messing with this to feed the vanity of some mentally unwell rich broad is inhuman. If she’s infertile because of her anorexia, that sucks but that’s life for you. We are limited by our bodies, our minds, and our objective circumstances from achieving all our wants. Sometimes our extremely crucial wants. These are middle-aged people and they somehow managed to not understand this?
If you observe a baby for 20 seconds, you’ll notice that the central fact about that baby is that she needs her mommy. Not a neurotic stranger who purchased her but her actual mommy. I can’t begin to imagine the monstrosity of a person who’d separate a baby from her mommy. It’s a baby! What’s lower than hurting a baby? This woman isn’t ready to foster a pet, let alone a child, if she thinks it’s ok to do that to a baby.
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I agree, 35 is still young enough to have a viable pregnancy and a healthy child. She’s a TV star and becoming pregnant would interfere with her career, I imagine it’s worse for a younger actress whose main currency is a great body.
That’s why I’m creeped out when something comes across my feed about an actress who’s main currency had a baby and a few months later they have their perfect body back. Normal women get fat and lumpy after having a baby, Mom got fat and weird- looking after she had our brother. Many actresses and female celebrities rely on a beautiful body as part of their fame and they need to get their body back soon as possible, it’s this creepy idea that a normal post-partem body is gross and that a woman should have the body of a supermodel even after giving birth
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Very true. My kid is turning 9 soon, and I’m still not completely free of the baby weight. 😆😆😆
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Yeah, Moms are generally forever, I am in my mid seventies and two and a half times her size, but my Mom still typically addresses me with the dimunitive she gave me as a child ;-D
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This brought tears to my eyes. ❤️
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My baby is 29 and I’m still struggling to lose my baby blubber.
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