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Who Does the Allowing?

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Clarissa

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Klara said something that I really loved today.

She said, “Mommy, one of the things I love about you is that you don’t wait for anybody’s permission, you just do things.”

I remember when she was 4 and we’d come to the Gardens for a walk. There would be a huge boulder placed in the drive to prevent people from using this vast, beautiful space. It was April of 2020, so you know.

I’d get out of the car, roll away the boulder, and proceed to park in the “forbidden” parking lot.

“Mommy, are you sure this is allowed?” Klara would ask.

“Nobody can allow or not allow,” I’d say. “I’m a taxpayer. I pay for the Gardens to be maintained, so I will decide when to use them.”

She was too little to understand the concept back then but now she got it.

18 responses to “Who Does the Allowing?”

  1. methylethyl Avatar
    methylethyl

    Clearly, you are doing it right!

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  2. Ed Frey Avatar
    Ed Frey

    “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission.” – Grace Brewster Hopper 

    She, and you, both took initiative without waiting for approval, especially in bureaucratic environments where obtaining permission can be difficult and time-consuming.

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  3. cliff arroyo Avatar
    cliff arroyo

    “you don’t wait for anybody’s permission, you just do things”

    You can take the girl out of Eastern Europe, but you can’t take Eastern Europe out of the girl….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      Nor should we want to. 😁

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  4. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Sounds like you’re teaching her to do illegal shit.

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    1. cliff arroyo Avatar
      cliff arroyo

      “teaching her to do illegal shit”

      Don’t you have a wife-beating gang member to get weepy over?

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
    2. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      It was not illegal to go for walks. Some officious fool was trying to prevent people from walking even though he himself clearly did walk outside or how would he get there to place the boulder?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Avatar
        Anonymous

        She obviously didn’t make this statement based on the single incident you’re described. I’m talking about the general principle.

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        1. methylethyl Avatar
          methylethyl

          Oh noes! Clearly raising a future antisocial domestic-abusing gangbanger! Because this is *exactly* the same disregard for real actual on-the-books laws that the govt is deporting people to El Salvador for! Oh, what an amazing gotcha moment. You’re soooo clever.

          We’re all criminal drug-trafficking people-smugglers at heart, and we should gather round in a circle and hold hands and sing “Imagine” together now.

          Liked by 2 people

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          1. Avatar
            Anonymous

            Clarissa presented herself as a by-the-book, follow every rule immigrant within the last week. She was the one holding up a much higher standard of obedience than “don’t be part of a criminal gang.”

            Liked by 1 person

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            1. cliff arroyo Avatar
              cliff arroyo

              “Clarissa presented herself as a by-the-book, follow every rule immigrant within the last week”

              She was already a citizen when the events described happened, not an immigrant any longer.

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              1. Clarissa Avatar
                Clarissa

                There is nothing more American than acting according to your own criteria. Of course, within the bounds of the law. Americans are into freedom and free will. Or used to be, anyway.

                Liked by 1 person

            2. Clarissa Avatar
              Clarissa

              I follow the laws of the land but not arbitrary rules created by officious fools. That you don’t understand the difference is exactly the problem.

              For example, I pay the taxes faithfully. But if a private contractor tries to scam me, I tell him he’s nuts and walk away. If the administration tries to didpossess me, I help stage a union action against it.

              I know this is way too complex for you, so I should quit trying.

              Liked by 1 person

              Reply
              1. methylethyl Avatar
                methylethyl

                It’s really weird that people can have such a hard time with the difference between law and social rules.

                But I think part of that is just the last decade or so of *intense* ingroup/outgroup propaganda on the left. It’s been so creepy to watch them become a brain-hijacked performative social-signalling cult, like courtesans of old. I don’t think they can acutally imagine doing something that’s *perfectly legal* but *against social norms*.

                Meanwhile, when it comes to *actual laws* they think all the today’s-special people list should get a free pass. It’s so confusing.

                Liked by 1 person

              2. Clarissa Avatar
                Clarissa

                I’m sure the person who got so inflamed by my story of taking my kid out for a walk is cheering Karmelo Anthony and was into supporting George Floyd’s canonization. These people notice absolutely no contradiction in this.

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              3. methylethyl Avatar
                methylethyl

                Probably went whole-hog on the whole masks and vaccines thing, too, even though that was never actual law, but rather a very intense propaganda op, sort of like the thesis project for all the “nudge” folks had been working on for years… and the people who resisted it were ultimately vindicated by the law.

                Liked by 1 person

              4. Clarissa Avatar
                Clarissa

                I scrupulously followed my university’s COVID regulations, which left me free to teach in person, not get the vax, and wear a transparent shield instead of a mask. All that was needed was to know the actual regulations. Many people were too lazy to find out and thought, for example, that we had obligatory vaccination, which we did not.

                Liked by 1 person

  5. PaulS Avatar
    PaulS

    In SA, it’s often necessary for people to take the initiative to do things that their taxes have already paid for. Much of this is due to an overly centralized political system that favors ideology and patronage based politics.

    Devolution of power to cities was a step in the right direction, with mixed results, but what is probably needed is further devolution of power and revenue collection to individual suburbs.

    https://dailyfriend.co.za/2025/04/17/how-many-must-die-in-the-name-of-your-being-law-abiding/

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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