In her thirties, overwhelmed with work and struggling with the debts she’d inherited from a gigolo loser she used to date, Sarma finally met a mega-rich, powerful man who liked her and could have solved her problems.
In response, she immediately found a fresh gigolo user, moved him into her place, ditched the stable, wealthy suitor, and wasted the next several years of her life on servicing the needs of the gigolo.
Finally, the gigolo dumped her. Guess what she did then?
Yes. Found a new gigolo loser.
The most fascinating part of the memoir is that none of this seems to have led Sarma to any insight. I’m 30% into the book, and I’m yet to see a single sentence where she’d recognize that ditching good men in favor of the trashiest loser bastards imaginable was something she kept doing with the dedication of a crazed woodpecker.
This must be the vodka talking, but the mindset of ditching a good man for a loser cuz excitement is utterly alien to me, since I’ve seen it happen with my mother. My dad, of blessed memory, was a good, hardworking man if a bit of a stick in the mud, he liked to read and watch football and drink a bit.
Mom ditched him for her loser second husband who was “exciting”, but a jobless loser. He also tried stuff with me but I fought him off with a knife, that’s why I don’t want “excitement” in my life. I want to be alone and read and write in peace, in my stories, my female characters stay with stable, normal guys who treat them well even if the guys themselves are a little odd
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Clarissa, isn’t this basically the opposite in Eastern European and Asian cultures? Where basically the man’s wallet is the most important thing?
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I’d rather women think a man’s wallet is more important than “excitement”, a wallet can provide for a family. As a teen I saw Mom work full time to support us because her idiot husband never worked and there was always anxiety about bills and rent, I’d rather not inflict that on kids. Marrying a dorky well-off guy is better for your mental health and the kids’ well being, I’ve been called a gold digger and selfish because I think women ought to not date losers who can’t provide for a family
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There’s got to be a sea of options between being a whore and paying for a whore.
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I’d be curious to read what you think of “Dream Count” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. It’s a similar topic, four women and many bad decisions. 🙂
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I looked it up and it sounds interesting. Thank you for the recommendation!
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Clarissa
Well Kid, talking about the consequences of ditching good men:
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