You thought you had problems? Look at these poor bastards:
Notice the word “choice”. These loser idjits brainwash themselves into utter abjection with this word. Choice is their god. It’s their only measure of morality.
The God of Choice
Opinions, art, debate
Clarissa's Blog 
Jeez louise, Clarissa! You don’t disagree with this: “The problem is that a lot of ppl attempting something this ideological and counterintuitive do impractical and hurtful things in the name of that ideology.” You are too quick to pull the trigger.
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This is, as they say, a feature, not a bug.
“The problem is that people who follow this retarded ideology do retarded things.”
lol this is not a “problem.” It is precisely the whole point of this ideology.
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“You are too quick to pull the trigger”
The post that you quoted was quickly followed by: “poly ppl are not all bad or immoral … some monogamous people do hurtful things… we blame the people not the relationship style”
So the lesson about how dysfunctional anyone/anything ‘poly’ is went… unlearned.
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I love the chain of illogic there: “Group A is not immoral, because group B also does immoral things.”
Lemme try that with something else:
Rembrandt was not a painter, because Michaelangelo (known for sculpture) also painted.
A screwdriver is not a tool, because people also use butter knives to unscrew things.
Andres Segovia was not a musician, because Jack Black (actor and comedian) also sometimes plays the guitar.
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And did you notice that this is ALWAYS the argument? Why care about illegals committing crime if citizens commit it, too? Why mention that a mass murderer is trans if non-trans murderers exist?
It always boils down to: don’t notice. Most importantly, don’t notice distinctions. Everything is one, undifferentiated glob of nastiness.
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More than that, the argument they’re making is “we’re not immoral, because people not us do immoral things” which contains a tacit admission that what they’re doing actually is immoral, and they’ve built an entire lifestyle around that immoral thing. But it’s totes OK because people who haven’t built their entire lifestyle around that immoral thing sometimes screw up and do that immoral thing, often causing great harm to themselves and everyone around them.
So, if you promised not to do it (because it’s harmful to self and others), and you screw up and do it anyway, that’s immoral.
But somehow, if you just do it all the time, and hang out with other people who do it, that makes it moral. Magically, nobody is harmed by it this way.
So let’s try generalizing that:
If you get drunk, get in a barfight and kill someone, that’s immoral. But if you become a professional hitman and kill people all the time because now it’s your lifestyle and your identity, that makes it moral (interestingly Hollywood has made more than one movie on this premise, so I think they actually believe it).
If you give drugs to somebody, and they die of an overdose, that’s immoral. If you make your entire living selling drugs to people, and some of them die of overdoses, that’s fine. (Look at how the left squeals when we sink narco boats, or arrest, prosecute, and deport drug dealers: they really believe this one too).
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I do not know about “anything/anyone”. In our example what makes it dysfunctional and even abhorrent is not poly per se, but shitty people practicing poly. Decent poly people could instead all go together and visit their partner/group member/ ??? in the hospital…
I also suspect there are a lot of things conservative people (not necessarily the enlightened audience right here) do that can be described as “The problem is that a lot of ppl attempting something this ideological and counterintuitive do impractical and hurtful things in the name of that ideology.”
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Yes, I’m sure that a cancer patient will be so happy to see the little troop of her husband’s healthy, great-looking mistresses.
The knowledge that the dude has enough fresh, eager objects for consumption while she loses her hair and pukes her guts out will do wonders for her health. Maybe they should go by her house and put on her clothes and jewelry to demonstrate that they are ready to divide the spoils as soon as she kicks the bucket.
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I don’t know, Clarissa. Have you ever *seen* photos of people who are into that lifestyle? I would never describe them as “fresh” or “objects for consumption”.
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I agree bit after a few rounds of chemo, even they can look better than the sick wife.
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fair point
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You seem to be operating under the assumption that this lifestyle was forced onto the wife by the husband. This may or may not be the case. In the one poly group I know anything about it is not the man who seems to be the main driving force. And they are a closely-knit group so I can totally imagine all of them showing up at the hospital if one of them ends up there.
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My aunt was beaten by her husband for years. When he left her for another woman, she hunted him down and made him return to her and beat her again.
.
She wasn’t forced into it. But that doesn’t make the whole situation any less ugly.
I simply don’t think that “choice” and “freedom” are interesting concepts.
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what do you think/wish/hope for could have gone differently in your aunts situation ? (And what could anyone apart from your aunt have done to influence it)?
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Everybody tried so hard to get her out of it. Her sons begged her. The eldest ended up in the hospital after trying to defend Mom from the axe-wielding dad. He’s a really brilliant guy, smarter than me, but he became paralyzed on one side at age 21, dropped out of college, it was tragic.
Her co-workers and her boss – get this! – had a collection and bought her an apartment. She kept saying she can’t move out because there was no place for her to go. These kind, sweet people bought her an apartment.
She left. The husband perked up, quit drinking, and found another woman. My aunt sought him out and reinitiated the relationship. He started drinking again.
They were both so much better off without each other. He only drank and ran around with an axe when he was with her. And believe me, I’m not justifying him. He’s a bastard.
We are not in touch with this aunt because she stole my inheritance, and this is not the worst part. I can deal with losing the money. But she threw away our family artifacts from my father’s side that had nothing to do with her but were priceless to us.
It’s weird because she was the only high-IQ of my aunts. Addicted to books, messy. Meaning, very much like me. My only kindred soul on that side of the family. Her name is Eugenia, and I wanted to call my daughter Klara Eugenia.
It’s a weird story. I don’t have a relationship with any of my cousins. One is a raging anti-Semite. Two more are vatniks. The other two are Russified in Moscow, dragging the portrait of my Grandpa to Putin’s parades.
Thank you for the question because it distracts me.
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I’m starting to harbor a bothersome suspicion that people think I agree with this Romy person. I only posted her because I think it’s funny how stupid she is.
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I remember I once came across a study, done by some Westerners right after they were allowed into Soviet Union, under Gorbachev. Meaning it was a relatively old study, not something done in the 2000-s. The study was about relationship and sexual habits of the Soviet people. The study attributed high incidence of cheating to some sort of subconscious protest against the system, “if we do not have any freedoms in the public life, we are going to manifest some freedoms in our private life”… Which struck me as a very odd and misdirected protest, and justification for bad behavior. Now I am tempted to dig that study up to see if this was the explanation provided by the Soviet people (probably some Moscow and St.Petersburg “intelligentsia”) or if it was interpretation by Western researchers.
As far as poly goes, I have not observed it enough to make statistically valid conclusions. I know about one group that seem functional enough. It is hard for me to imagine one of them going on a date while the other is in the hospital…
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If a Mexican woman told us she’s OK with her husband spending time with a mistress instead of driving her to the ER, we’d all think she’s a pathetic victim. But since an identity label was put on the exact same behavior, we are all supposed to see it as something completely different from the Mexican woman’s abjection aimed at pleasing some stupid dude.
For people who know Spanish, I highly recommend the novel “La próxima vez que te vea, te mato” by the Chilean author Paulina Flores. It’s about just this kind of woman who wants to debase herself to keep a guy but hides behind a poly label to feel less pathetic.
As I keep repeating in my research, women’s liberation did not remotely liberate women from debasing themselves to please some loser who is barely aware they are alive. To have a dude (even if he doesn’t know he’s in a relationship with her) is still the biggest driving force.
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