Q&A about Cockroaches

Another great question. I’m loving these. Please keep bringing them to me.

Dude, the cockroaches. What a curse. In the USSR, we all lived in apartments, and if your neighbors had an infestation, what could you do? My mother is maniacally clean, like only a person who grew up in great poverty can be. But we had a terrible problem in one of the apartments where we lived. She cleaned like she was possessed by the demons of cleanliness but the roaches kept coming. And of course there were no exterminator services.

Finally, my mother found some dude who worked at a secret military plant. He brought over some radioactive shit. Told us that it would kill everything for miles around. We had to move out of the apartment for a month while the radioactive shit did its work. And hey, the roaches were gone after that.

Yes, it’s a weird idea to bring a radioactive substance into an apartment where you live with your small children but it was the USSR. Nothing was normal.