It’s this weird psychological mechanism where positioning yourself as a kindly benefactor to a man whom you fear makes the fear less intense. In your mind, he becomes a sort of a child, and you can’t really be angry with a child, no matter what he does.
What we call “toxic empathy” is not really empathy. It’s a power play. Let’s say, you tell somebody regarding a colleague at work, “Poor Peter. I feel so bad for him. That poor, miserable dude. Let’s be nice to him because he has so few things going for him.” Are you being empathetic towards Peter? Of course, not. You are using him to establish a hierarchy with yourself on top. Those who can pity stand above those who deserve pity. “Poor Peter” translates as “not poor me.”
We need to see these displays of fake empathy for what they really are, a power play.
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