Off-ramp into Mental Peace

The most important thing you can do for what they clumsily call mental health is to spend at least an hour a day alone with your thoughts without consuming any media, music, information, generated images, etc. And you need at least one hour a day in an unmediated, personal interaction with somebody who matters to you. Not on the phone, not on a screen but physically present.

The problem is that, for people who have already been severely damaged psychologically, remaining alone with their thoughts is deadly. Their thought stream was poisoned. They instinctively protect themselves from the danger of drinking from a poisoned stream by scrolling their feed and consuming content. The only narrative that is available to them is that they are lazy procrastinators. They feel guilt for what is actually a crucial survival strategy. That guilt poisons the thought stream even more, and the problem gets solved.

An off-ramp from this vicious cycle lies through small pockets of guilt-free enjoyment. Here’s an example. “I’ll browse X for just a couple of minutes and then will do something important” tends to lead to an hour on X and hours of guilt afterwards. Instead, say to yourself, “I’m going to browse for an hour because, as coping strategies go, this is one of the healthiest.” Position yourself comfortably, bring cushions, arrange a nice, enjoyable beverage and a tasty snack. Create an ambiance like you are doing exactly what you should be doing. Use whatever it is that gives you comfort. A soft throw, a music playing in the background, a cigarette, a vape tube or whatever you call it, a candle, a glass of wine, a shot of tequila, a box of chocolates. Use all of these at once if it will give you joy.

The same amount of time spent browsing, yet the results are very different because you aren’t punishing yourself with guilt. It sounds weird that the road towards being able to be alone with yourself without media can lie through consuming media. But it’s similar to quitting smoking (or any other bad habit). Often, what you are addicted to is the punishment, the feeling of guilt. Once you accept your bad habit as something good, a survival mechanism, your need of it might be dramatically reduced. Not 100% of people drink excessively or smoke because their addiction is to punishment. But everybody who is addicted to media pursues freedom from being alone with their poisoned thought stream. 

Most people urgently need to forgive themselves for not being the perfect productivity machines because they are hurting themselves with endless and unnecessary guilt.