These are all stories from the world that no longer exists. These “tiger” parents are preparing their children for a long-gone economy. I don’t care if they are Chinese, American, or Alpha Centauri. They are behind the times. They have already lost.
The world that currently exists requires internal motivation. The disciplinarian society is gone. We can debate if that’s good or bad but the fact is, it’s now an anachronism. These tiger moms are chasing a dead dragon.
Everything today is about inner motivation. You have to have the fire inside for whatever it is you do. There’s no demand for obedient, quiet drones. You need to have a very strong sense of self. We are in the economy of selfhood.
I spent all evening yesterday telling my kid to be done with the studying already and just go and play. She refused and at bedtime showed me a timesheet of her own design where she recorded how much time she had spent on each field of study. This is not assigned at school. I have never asked her to do this. I have never asked her to study at all. I’m not doing anything to foster it. But I do intuitively know how to raise for inner motivation. You do it by pursuing the exact opposite strategy from tiger-momming.
We live in an extremely permissive, self-indulgent society. Maybe I wish it were less so. But it won’t be. The boundary between happiness and unhappiness in such a society lies inside everybody individually. You need to build an inner caparace for your fire and police its boundaries maniacally in order not to spill like a puddle of grey misery. Everybody will have to do it for themselves or they are majorly screwed. As a parent, you need to foster inner strength, not break it.
Clarissa's Blog 
Wait wait wait.
I need to know more about those SAT scores. Have they changed the test since I took it in… 1998? Is the scoring different now? Are these overall average scores? Average scores for people applying to college?
Those numbers seem really, really low. Like, I’m not sure I know anybody who took the test *at all* who scored that low. What am I missing?
-ethyl
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The national average is in the absolute toilet. And going down for reasons we all know. There’s constant fussing with the test to make the drop less evident.
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Yeah, but that’s still an average of people who took the test which chops off the bottom of the distribution. Nobody is giving the SAT to high school dropouts, kids with Downs syndrome, or students who couldn’t pass Algebra I… are they?
1000-1200 is barely literate?
If we’re taking those scores as at least a little above average… that’s alarming.
-ethyl
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They might really not be sending their best. 😆😆
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Yeah, but….
1029 is a gamed average? Meaning, the average high school grad planning some kind of further education… probably can’t understand legal documents, meaningfully read any literature written before 1950, comprehend the terms of a lease or loan without assistance, or read and understand a scientific study?
That’s where we are? For real?
This explains so much.
But also: (despair)
-ethyl
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Its not just the national average. It’s pretty clear in SA that Trump/Putin/Xi are all morons compared to Smuts, so the question is how to deal with this era of weak politicians.
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There have been changes in the test, but the average scores aren’t wildly different from 20 or 50 years ago.
https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d07/tables/dt07_135.asp
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In SA, for the top source of tourists, the UK has replaced the US. Must be that end of history and new world order thing.
https://www.capetownetc.com/things-to-do-cape-town/travel/uk-beats-the-us-as-sas-largest-source-of-international-visitors-in-2025/
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The other thing is realizing that your time is over and conceding for the greater good.
https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/?dm_source=masthead-logo&dm_medium=link&dm_campaign=keep
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