The Last Peach

Obviously, peaches are gone from my life forever because of diabetes but I am and always have been like this husband. The “save it for the kids” woman will guilt-trip everybody into infinity with her litany of sacrifices. No peach on the planet will make a child as happy as a content mom who isn’t a sacrificial victim.

Just eat the stupid peach, woman, and stop congratulating yourself for your self-denial because it’s totally fake. I’m not particularly young, to put it mildly, yet I remember women of my mother’s generation go on and on about this stupid last peach. A different continent, a different century, yet women still priss up all over the place about the damn peach.

12 responses to “The Last Peach”

  1.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Yeah, in our house, that looks like:

    Me: Oh, that smells wonderful! Maybe I could… NOOOOO! NYET! KHONG! DESIST! FORBIDDEN! WTF were you thinking that’s like 30g of sugar and if you eat it you’ll have to go use the exerbike for like an HOUR. Get a grip! Now be a responsible person and go find something else to do outside the kitchen until somebody else eats it.

    My husband: Oh, a ripe peach. I better eat that before wife finds it and does something awful to her blood sugar…

    He’s really very sweet.

    Like

  2. Mitch4 Avatar
    Mitch4

    “This is just to say”

    by William Carlos Williams

    I have eaten

    the plums

    that were in

    the icebox

    and which

    you were probably

    saving

    for breakfast

    Forgive me

    they were delicious

    so sweet

    and so cold

    There were many parodies and other replies, often putting him down for the selfishness..

    Like

  3. oldcowboy3 Avatar
    oldcowboy3

    Nah, Kid, he would most likely give it to, or at least share it with, your child. Not that a mere male would ever even try to argue with a female ;-D

    https://bustednuckles.net/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Download-5.mp4

    Like

    1. oldcowboy3 Avatar
      oldcowboy3

      Sorry, hit the upvote by mistake.

      Like

  4. Stringer Bell Avatar
    Stringer Bell

    “I invented a secret rule that you’re not adhering to and I’m mad about it”

    Also, what exactly does she do in this relationship?

    Like

    1. Clarissa Avatar

      Anybody who uses the words “mental load” seriously is a clinical moron. She probably believes in long COVID and other kinds of flat-earthery.

      Like

  5. Avi Avatar
    Avi

    She teaches yoga. Probably she doesn’t even like the damn peach.

    Like

    1. cliff arroyo Avatar

      “teaches yoga. Probably she doesn’t even like the damn peach”

      She is the peach. This is resentment toward her husband for using it for his daily… smoothie…. (think about it).

      Freud, people.

      Like

      1. Clarissa Avatar

        This is hilarious. And completely spot on. She could be getting sore over a sausage but it’s always a peach.

        Like

        1. Clarissa Avatar

          I’m now weeping quietly with laughter in my office.

          Like

          1. Clarissa Avatar

            OT: a Russian war propagandist turned on Putin and, in the old KGN tradition, has been sent off to a loonie bin.

            https://x.com/i/status/2034591958455185797

            Like

            1. mitchellporter Avatar
              mitchellporter

              I learned about this from a tweet by “akarlin” (currently living in Thailand, I think) that also drew my attention to Latynina and Arestovych’s ongoing dialogue. I don’t know if either of them matters politically any more, but they seem to be developing a political line like “Putin must go and Ukraine should stay within the Russian world”??

              Like

Leave a comment

A conservative literary critic and college professor