College administrators go to all sorts of business seminars and workshops on ridiculous things like leadership and all that kind of garbage. Then they come back and put everything that they have learned into practice. The funniest thing is that they all do it simultaneously. It is as if the old software were wiped out and a completely new package suddenly got installed. To people who don’t know about the leadership seminars that they attend the sudden change in demeanor looks insane. One can easily learn all about the new leadership fads from the changes in their behavior.
For instance, the new fad is that they talk to faculty as if we were a bunch of extremely traumatized preschoolers. Since we are neither preschoolers nor traumatized but are, instead, a group of adult, very opinionated and dramatically coddled people, this makes a really bizarre impression. And since they all suddenly switched into this mode at the exact same time it all looks deeply unhinged.
We have one administrator who is a typical alpha male with an extremely short fuse. He’s a severe, hardcore dude and I always really respected him for that. Other people hated him for it but imagine everybody’s shock when all of a sudden he comes into a room and starts talking to us in a mealy-mouthed tones of a preschool teacher addressing toddlers. The man is clearly in great pain. This behavior does not jive with his personality.
“So… Stephen here did a really good job on the report. What do we say when somebody does a really good job? Let’s all say it together. Thank you, Stephen! Good job!”
Professors remain mute while Stephen looks at everybody in shocked silence.
The chancellor of the university gave his annual State of the University address the other day. I couldn’t go because I was teaching but my colleagues were crawling out of the room heaving with laughter. He also did the “Let’s all say it together! Good job!” thing. Can you imagine? Whoever came up with this leadership fad is probably taking the piss. This is a great way of making administrators look absolutely ridiculous and lose any remaining shred of their authority in the eyes of faculty. One couldn’t come up with anything more humiliating if one tried.
Professors are a jaded, cynical bunch. We don’t chant “good job, Stephen,” unless we’ve had a couple of drinks and are trying to be funny.
The previous leadership fad that has been abandoned in favor of this one was that you have to assume the persona of a mega important expert and treat others with condescension. The dramatic change from this persona to one of an overly emotional, fussy lady talking to toddlers looks schizoid. But they plough on because the expensive coaches they hire tell them that this is the “it” thing these days.
Clarissa's Blog 
My department chair has this habit of praising people for the most inane “accomplishments.” Just as you say, like we’re toddlers. Whenever she gives me a compliment, my ire spikes because it feels like she trolling me. Such bullshit.
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It’s so annoying. I don’t even do that with my child any more because she’s too grown for this to make sense.
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This is hilarious but bizarre. Do the administrators themselves have no self respect? Why don’t they just sit quietly through their training and then laugh it off? How can they not see that this is not a good idea? I mean, I might be a little bit on the spectrum and might not be all that good at cognitive empathy and forming mental models of other people’s minds, but even I know better than to talk to an adult like that unless I’m deliberately trying to insult. I suppose this is congruent with Prof. Clarissa’s theory that much of contemporary politics is intended to make the nation state appear laughable and ridiculous. Is the intention to make Americans so contemptuous of academia that they abolish it? That’s a less frightening idea than the possibility that these administrators actually believe in what they are doing.
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My friend, I fear the worst. I fear they actually believe that this is good and effective. When my Dean tells us about these leadership seminars he attends at Wharton etc, his facial expression is similar to the one my priest has when he tells us about his visit to Mount Athos, the holiest site of Orthodox Christianity.
It’s like a cult. Their eyes shine with the religious fervor of sincere converts. Poor buggers.
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Good Lord! If corporate wokesterism is their path to transcendence, then administrators might as well be a different species as far as my ability to understand them goes. Offhand I’m having trouble thinking of any cult less ridiculous and shallow.
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