Courtship Rituals

Published by

Clarissa

July 29, 2026

Young people have been given no guidelines on how to engage in courtship:

It is absolutely true that women don’t schlep to dates unless the venue is somewhere in front of the house where they live. It is insulting to a woman to expect her to cab it over to the date.

It is also absolutely true that women don’t ask men to send Ubers to pick them up like they are prostitutes. It is insulting to a man to demand that he treat you like an employee of an escort company.

The way it’s supposed to be done is that the man comes to the woman’s house, picks her up, and together they go to wherever the date is. After the date, he brings her back.

Most importantly, when everybody knows how these rituals are supposed to work, people can avoid these uncomfortable conversations and not feel humiliated by them.

I know how all of this is supposed to work because somebody told me. Why is nobody telling these young people?

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6 responses to “Courtship Rituals”

xykademiqz

July 29, 2026

The world in which we dated, where you first got to know someone before actually going out with them or they were at the very least known to your friends/family, is not the world where current 20 and 30-year-olds date. It’s a really bad idea to have an unknown man pick you up from your home. Online dating basically brings complete strangers together, and based on what the women I know who are on the apps tell me, you don’t even give your actual phone number (i.e., everything is through the apps) until a couple of dates in, let alone get picked up from your home. Usually people will drive separately or Uber separately to the restaurant for the first however many dates. The fact she’s asking for him to pay for her Uber isn’t unheard of; it falls under her expectation that he will pay for everything sight unseen and irrespective of her (dis)interest. He does seem a bit turned off by her request, or most likely wasn’t particularly interested to begin with.

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oldcowboy3

July 29, 2026

Yeah Kid, I’ve been hesitant to suggest your fond courting beliefs are rapidly becoming just as old fashioned as my own ;-D

The one nephew that I am still hope to salvage, just sent me this, still chewing on it:

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Anonymous

July 29, 2026

The problem is they’re meeting on some app, and going out to dinner with a total stranger. Security issues.

This is not insurmountable: it’s weird that people have forgotten how to meet up at public places and arrange their own transport.

ethyl

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1. Anonymous
  
  July 29, 2026
  
  Cheap booze and dim lighting, that’s the secret. And always remember, a 2 at 10 is a 10 at 2.
  
  Walnut
  
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2. Clarissa
  
  July 29, 2026
  
  If he’s an evil rapist, he can send a car to take her to whatever place. Anybody can pose as an Uber driver.
  
  Also, I’m not seeing much of a difference in safety between meeting online and meeting at a bar.
  
  I met my husband online, at a discussion forum. He did not suggest sending a car for me because, and I insist, this is what you do for hookers.
  
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  1. Clarissa
    
    July 29, 2026
    
    I also want to add that if the guy agrees to door dash the woman to wherever he wants her to be and then pays for a meal, of course he will expect sex. The woman will pretend that she doesn’t understand, and that’s how we ended up with #MeToo.
    
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