Clarissa's Blog

Raising a child means having the most mundane actions lit up by a glow of magic.

You know you’ve been overusing your phone when your index finger twitches in a swiping motion during every long pre-Christmas toast.

And guess what? In exactly a week it’s going to be +18°C here. From -36°C to +18°C. And it’s always like this.

A friend came by to visit today and stuck a bundle of fabric into my arms. I thanked her mechanically, thinking that it’s nice to know somebody whose present-wrapping skills were even poorer than mine. But it turned out the bundle wasn’t a gift but her 11-month-old. The kid was wrapped top to bottom so it took me several minutes to find which side her face was. I don’t blame the friends, though. They are from Africa and this weather must be to them. . . what the normal weather around here is for me.

On the positive side, I tried having tea with milk and realized that my life was about to change for the better.

Can anybody recommend a nice Christmas movie to watch with a kid? We’ve done the Grinch, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and the Wizard of Oz. I tried suggesting Home Alone but when I described the premise, Klara got scandalized.

What else do people watch on Christmas that’s kid-friendly?

I got the best Christmas gift ever, folks. It’s a gift that murdered all other gifts once and for all.

It’s a paint-by-numbers kit (my new hobby) of one of my favorites photos of Klara. It turns out you can turn any photo into paint-by-numbers! Truly, capitalism is great. I can paint a portrait of my father now!

I have waited for this for so long:

I will think about this moment in the endless bleeding summers, knowing that bliss is possible.

In spite of being one of the most overpriced stores in existence, Sephora is at least 60% out of stock. It looks like people will be celebrating Christmas with 3 layers of makeup caked on.

And please don’t say gifts. Who gives makeup as a gift? How can you possibly know what shade or type a person wears? Or what she already has at the moment?

In other positive news, the university is closed until January. I’m still teaching my online winter course (15 weeks of material covered in 3 weeks of daily lectures without weekends) but it’s still very festive not to go to work.

It’s really funny that many people who made a brand for themselves out of defending masculinity have chosen to support not the strong, courageous Zelensky but the weak, scared Putin who was cucked by his wife and who, while Zelensky went to the frontlines, visited Lukashenko and gave him a bouquet of flowers. An old man whose wife left him for a younger fellow sticking a wilted bouquet into the hands of another old, lonely man – you’ve really messed it up if your brand is tied to that sad image.

Forget visiting the White House. The other day, Zelensky visited Bakhmut. It’s the most infernal place in the war. Russians have been storming it for weeks. Rubble, piles of corpses, and ongoing hostilities with Russian troops a couple of miles away – and still Zelensky went.

Russians had just declared the capture of Bakhmut, and then Zelensky showed up in the supposedly captured city. So they had to scramble to declare that they never intended to fight for Bakhmut anyway.

During the visit, Zelensky stood in the midst of dozens of heavily armed soldiers. Any one of them could have been upset, traumatized, shell-shocked, supportive of Zelensky’s electoral opponent* – and decided to take a shot. But they weren’t asked to disarm in view of the president’s visit. The right to bear arms is so sacred right now in Ukraine that it would not have been possible.

Imagine the balls one needs to do something like this. Also, imagine how far safe spaces, hurt feelings, and trigger warnings are from the reality I describe.

The crisis of masculinity is over, my friends. Manliness is back, safetyism is out.

* In case people are completely clueless, Zelensky’s electoral opponent is more anti-Russia than Zelensky. There are no pro-Russia political figures or voting blocs. Zelensky supporters bicker with Poroshenko supporters about who hates Russia more.

Slavoj Zizek said that (ex)-Communists like the Chinese or the Russians make such good neoliberals because they were brought up to hate the bourgeoisie (meaning, the middle-class), and neoliberalism allows them to wage war against this despised class.