The Wrong Time to Get Philosophical

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Clarissa

August 4, 2011

As I mentioned before, I participate in this program (that will remain unnamed) where I get offered free stuff to write reviews. You get a list twice a month and it usually contains a few very expensive really cool items and many cheaper items. Of course, everybody snaps up the expensive stuff the second it appears, so you need to have very fast mouse-clicking skills. The goal is to grab the cool things first and think later.

So the last time around, I open my list and see that it has this extremely expensive and totally beautiful baby-feeding chair that costs $600. And, of course, instead of just grabbing it immediately, I decided that this was a good moment for me to consider the existential question of whether I want to have children. I mean, I haven’t been able to make the decision in the past 35 years. What are the chances that extra 2 minutes would help, seriously?

Of course, while I was trying to arrive at this momentous decision, people without existential hangups snapped up the chairs.

And now I’m sans the chair and sans a decision.

Now, am I an idiot, or am I a complete idiot?

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13 responses to “The Wrong Time to Get Philosophical”

el

August 4, 2011

I am surprised at how it works. I mean, it doesn’t make sense. Why would they want you to review the chair, if you don’t have children?

On having kids, you’ve been taking care of your sister since childhood. You have at least some idea what’s it like. I think it’s a bit like living together, one has to make a jump at some point to know what’s it really like.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 4, 2011
  
  The way the lists of products for review are made are a complete mystery to everybody.
  
  As for the children issue, I wanted to mention that everybody should feel free to say anything they want. My feelings will not be hurt. 🙂
  
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2. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 4, 2011
  
  I thought about it a lot and my main – my only worry – is that I will not love the kid. I have seen way too many parents who don’t even like their children, let alone love them. No child deserves that.
  
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  1. Patrick
    
    August 4, 2011
    
    Children is a decision between you and your husband. The two of you have to want children. The realization that you want children makes it highly likely that you will love the children. People who don’t like their children often resent those kids.
    
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    1. bloggerclarissa
      
      August 4, 2011
      
      Yes, but the question is how you know if you want something that you’ve never tried.
      
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      1. Patrick
        
        August 5, 2011
        
        I suppose, it’s just one of those things that defies explanation. And if you’re asking the question, then you probably don’t ‘want’ children – you like the idea of children, you might think it would be cool to be a parent. . . I have always seen myself as a someday being a father. I never imagined any other version of my adult self – I would be a father. My wife always knew she wanted to raise a family. The decision to have kids was as automatic as the decision to continue breathing. The only decision part was the when.
        
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GMP

August 4, 2011

Yes, regarding having kids: I think you can’t make that decision completely rationally. I mean you can try to, but it’s usually going to come out negative (who in their right mind would give up their money and freedom and time for someone they don’t even know?). There’s a leap of faith you have to take, that’s for sure.

As for reviewing the high-chair, you didn’t miss much. I can tell you right away — $600 is way too much, I don’t care what the chair looks like. Unless it lays golden eggs too. There are plenty of choices under $200.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 4, 2011
  
  Thank you, GMP! I now feel better about the loss of the chair and my incapacity to reach a decision. I will be publishing posts about this decision-making process in the future and your input is always highly appreciated.
  
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Anonymous

August 5, 2011

I personally would want to have saved close $100,000 before having a child because I would want to give that child the best I can. This clusterfuck of a financial crisis has taught us that we can rely neither on the government nor on private industry to provide security for us and much less our children. So I think it’s very important to have a good cushion to fall back upon. Last thing I would want is to lose my job and not be able to provide for my child.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 5, 2011
  
  Every single person from a rich family that I’ve known (I went to Yale, so I’ve known many) was messed up beyond recognition.
  
  Money does not buy “the best” a child needs, that’s for sure. Actually, I’d rather not procreate if I suddenly became rich.
  
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  1. Anonymous
    
    August 5, 2011
    
    It really comes down to the values that you instill in the child. I was not suggesting saving money to raise a spoiled brat. It’s more about making sure the child never lacks the essentials. People don’t seem to realize what a huge expense a child is.
    
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Alexandra

August 5, 2011

My gut feeling is that you will be a wonderful mother. You’re happy, you love what you do, you know how to set and achieve goals. In regards to worrying whether you’ll love the child, think about your sister. You practically raised her. There were probably moments or even days when you felt tired and angry but you still did it right.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  August 5, 2011
  
  Thank you, dear Alexandra. Thank you.
  
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