Weight Gain Equals Weight Loss

I’m already used to the fact that any weight gain a woman might experience is immediately interpreted as a sign of pregnancy. “No, I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat” I keep saying to people who come up to me in the street to tell me that drinking coffee in my condition is dangerous to the baby.

Now, however, I discovered that one’s weight loss makes people suspect the same thing.

I’ve lost about 10 pounds since I got sick with this virus. One of the symptoms is a very sore throat, so I can eat nothing except raspberries and some peaches.

“Oh, Clarissa! You look so slim!” a colleague exclaimed today in the office. “What happened? Are you pregnant?”

There is just no winning here. Maybe I need to buy a “Still Not Pregnant” T-shirt.

8 thoughts on “Weight Gain Equals Weight Loss”

  1. Whenever I slim down or get a bit heavier, people assume it’s because I broke up with someone. “Oh, Leah, you look great! Are you in the dating game again?” “Aww, Leah, poor thing, did you and Jaime split?”
    Sheesh. The human body’s natural fluctuations are just that, they should not be scrutinized so.

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    1. I bruise very easily and also have poor motor function because of my autism. You have no idea how many people keep suspecting that I’m a victim of domestic abuse because of my bruises. And I’m not being reticent about my autism. Still, people prefer to choose the explanation where I’m being victimized.

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  2. Probably a lot of your familiars expect your pregnant.
    When i was a student, a lot of studentgirls had a shotgun wedding by reason of pregnant.
    “Married, but not pregnant” – it was very strange.
    Everybody looked closely at bride`s belly after wedding and wondered if it grows up.

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  3. Always hold an alcoholic beverage in your hand. People will know that you are not pregnant.

    It is funnier and more stylish than a still not pregnant t-shirt.

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    1. Ooooh, I wouldn’t try that in certain parts of America – after gaining weight due to steriods, I was visiting some friends of relatives in Oklahoma and I was lambasted at a family party by a complete stranger who assumed I was pregnant and lit into me about foetal alcohol syndrome. Several people (male and female) who witnessed it chimed in with their disapproval too when I attempted to defend myself, until after being cut off one too many times at ‘Yes but…’ I screamed at the top of my lungs, “I’m not bloody pregnant!” Cue much offense on their part because I was rude and seething rage on mine. Seriously, who does that?!

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      1. I know what you mean! When my sister was pregnant, she was constantly approached by strangers who exhorted her not to drink alcohol or smoke while she was pregnant. Obviously, she wasn’t doing any of these things when these strangers approached her (or at any other time during the pregnancy.) They just thought a lecture was in order.

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