I wish people who understand nothing about feminism didn’t try to educate others about it. See the following glaring example:
Support women’s bodily autonomy. On a political level, of course, one should fight pro-life initiatives, attempts to de-fund Planned Parenthood, forced sterilization efforts, etc. On a personal level, of course, it’s almost more important. If your partner gets pregnant, it’s up to her whether to have an abortion, give the child up for adoption, or raise the kid. Her body, her rules.
An abortion, of course. But adoption and raising a child? None of these things occur within a woman’s body. Treating a child as if it were a woman’s property or her toy that she can either choose to play with or hand over to somebody else is not in the best interests of any child. While a man has absolutely no business having any influence on anything that happens inside a woman’s body (unless that man is the woman’s physician), he sure as hell is entitled to participate in deciding what happens to his child once that child is born.
I see this incapacity to distinguish between a body part and an actual child often enough. The blogger I quoted fails to notice that this is precisely the attitude that fuels the angriest anti-abortion rants. This is also the kind of worldview that informs most instances of child abuse.
Clarissa's Blog 
Why not get the day off to a contentious start…
I do hear your point that if abortion is legal (whether it should be or not) that the woman is the only person who can legally decide. Morally, however, I **think** your stance is that the man in the relationship really shouldn’t have much say in what the mother decides. In general, if it is the woman’s choice, than surely the father should be free of financial committments like child support etc. right? This has always seemed like a sensible position, especially if the man really has no say in the decision (even if he really wants a kid! or not). I am curious your position on this!
I do agree with your larger point of the article tho. And I actually think adoption, especially of kids from troubled homes or foster care is one of the greatest things and hope to one day adopt at least one child.
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“Morally, however, I **think** your stance is that the man in the relationship really shouldn’t have much say in what the mother decides.”
– If you’d read my post past the word “abortion” :-), you’d know that my stance is the exact opposite. I dream of the legislation that would award equal custody to both parents in the absolute majority of cases. And I abhor women who exclude the father from a child’s life unless that father is a convicted pedophile or something equally egregious. However, here we are talking about mothers and fathers, i.e. people who have a child. You can’t be a parent until an actual child is born.
” In general, if it is the woman’s choice, than surely the father should be free of financial committments like child support etc. right?”
– He should absolutely be free of any financial commitments to an adult woman. I’m completely opposed to alimony. However, an innocent third party – a child – who was not even around when adults made decisions, entered into agreements, etc. cannot reasonably be punished for those decisions. A child is a human being with a whole set of his or her own rights.
“This has always seemed like a sensible position, especially if the man really has no say in the decision (even if he really wants a kid! or not)”
– This has been discussed a lot on this blog already. Your position comes from exactly the kind of place that I criticize in this post: the incapacity to see a child not as an extension of a woman but as a separate person in his or her own right.
“And I actually think adoption, especially of kids from troubled homes or foster care is one of the greatest things and hope to one day adopt at least one child.”
– I really respect people who adopt. This is a wonderful thing to do for an abandoned child. As long as they don’t conceal the truth about his or her origins from the child, of course.
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But remember Clarissa, it’s us non feminists that don’t understand feminism nor give feminists a fair chance…
(I personally wasn’t much of a fan of item 7 on that list. Saying that time spent trying to figure out the truth is time not spent supporting the survivor pretty much screams “guilty until proven innocent”. Heaven forbid someone actually try to give both sides a benefit of the doubt, at least until details start coming to light.)
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