The last weeks of the semester are so overwhelming that I started talking to my work email.

“Ah, here you go again,” I say to it reproachfully whenever it starts beeping hysterically, announcing a fresh barrage of messages I need to answer. “This is just plain mean on your part.”

“Beep, beep,” the mailbox responds cheerfully.

“Seriously, buddy, just quit doing this,” I say. “I just spent two hours showering you with attention.”

“Beep, beep, beep,” the mailbox continues unapologetically.

“Please, just have mercy on me!” I beg. “I need at least an hour to myself.

The mailbox is quiet.

“Thank you for understanding,” I say.

“Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!” it laughs, triumphant.

5 responses to “Conversations with Email”

    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      Not just emails but Google Doc file, too??? This is horrible. What a travesty the constitution has been turned into.

      Like

  1. Daran Avatar

    “What a travesty the constitution has been turned into.”

    Not unless and until a court rules it constitutional.

    Until then, I guess, it is the supporting legislators’ oath to uphold the constitution which is the travesty.

    Like

    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      I’m afraid this will be sneaked past us. The measures to censor the Internet are being taken in every developed country right now.

      Like

      1. Daran Avatar

        Perhaps not, at least for now: http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-57552687-38/leahy-scuttles-his-warrantless-e-mail-surveillance-bill/

        Bills like this are like Hollywood vampires: No matter how many times you steak them, they always come back in a sequel.

        Like

Leave a comment

A conservative literary critic and college professor