This is SO true:

Team-building exercises usually make intelligent people despise each other.  This is because intelligent people resent being manipulated into a false feeling of camaraderie, and would rather remain wary and uncooperative with one another than prove a person that would initiate team-building exercises is actually capable of making us into a team. Brown-nosers that cooperate cheerfully (also known as the Education faculty, who love this sort of shit) are looked upon with the same malice as the collaborators in Vichy France. In the end, the only way we will coalesce into a team is if we decide to burn you in effigy.  Or for real.

This is the best paragraph I have read in a while. The Education faculty are, indeed, always at the forefront of every idiotic and humiliating group activity.

8 thoughts on “Team-Building”

  1. One of my main ambitions in life is to never take part in a “team-building” “exercise”.

    That said, there is something exhilirating about being part of a group of people pulling together and getting something done.

    But it has to be genuine, it can’t be voila’ed out of thin air through some kind of inane artificial activity.


    1. “One of my main ambitions in life is to never take part in a “team-building” “exercise”.”

      Oh me too! Ghastly idea. So false, so forced.


  2. Have you ever done any of those “plane crash in the desert/arctic/etc” exercises where you and a bunch of other people survive the crash and salvage 15 items? You must then individually rank those items in order of importance to survival, and then as a team. You must then compare your individual ranks and those of your team to how the experts rank the items. Usually, your team rankings are closer to those of the experts than your individual rankings. This is supposed to demonstrate how teamwork is better than going it alone.

    I agree that teamwork is important in many cases. However, the two times I did this in a group, in the arctic it made no difference while I would have lived longer in the desert.:(


    1. 2 minds are better than one, yes. But that is different from the false feeling of camaraderie some of these exercises are really about.


  3. ROFLMAO. If people needed to be best friends with everyone they worked with, then most offices would grind to a halt. These team-building exercises are like didactic pep rallies for adults.


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